t 







OLD CREOLE HOUSE 
Frowi a draiving by Rosalie Urquhart 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 



EDITED BY 



FRANCES FEARN 



ILLUSTRATED BY 

EOSALIE URQUHART 




NEW YORK 

MOFFAT, YARD AND COMPANY 

1910 






e'^ 



Copyright, 1910, by Frances Fearn 
New York 



Published September, 1910 



THE QUINN A BODEN CO. PRESS 

RAHWAY, N. J. 



©CI.A273866 



TO CLARICE IN FIVE GENERATIONS 

May the Clarice of to-day reincarnate the spirit and 
the flesh of those four noble women of her name, 
affiliating the child through her forbears with the soul 
and body of her Great, Great Grandmother Clarice 



LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS 

The Old Creole House . . . Frontispiece 

FACING PAGE 

The Old Plantation House .... 14- 

Evangeline Oak 22 ^"^ 

The Dark Forest S2 

Gen. U. S. Grant 40 

The Camp on the Plains 54 

Mexican Water Jars 72 

Havana Harbor 78' 

Clarice 84 

A Review Day under the Empire , . . 94 

Napoleon III 100 

Christine Nilsson 102'^ 

The Empress Eugenie 106 " 

The Tuileries in 1880 116 ^ 

The Writer of the Diary 124 

The Clarice of To-day 140 



INTRODUCTION 

IT was while I was spending the summer 
in Virginia, where I had gone in search 
of quiet and rest, after my extensive tour 
through the country, that I saw in one of 
the papers an appeal from a Historical So- 
ciety, to those who had any real data in re- 
gard to the Civil War to pubhsh it, as so 
many who were connected with the war on 
both sides were rapidly dying off. 

I remembered a diary kept during the 
war by a member of my family, who was a 
woman of rare qualities of brain, and heart, 
with an unusually just mind. I felt sure 
that anything written by her would be so 
liberal and fair that it could not fail but 
prove interesting reading, for the people of 
both the North and the South. From what 
she had told me, and remembering as a child 
many things myself, I am able to fill in the 
gaps when necessary. 

While preparing ^the Diary for pubKca- 

vii 



viii INTRODUCTION 

tion, I saw the possibility of making an in- 
teresting drama from it, so I have dramatized 
it, giving the play as title the famous words 
of General Grant, " Let us have peace." I 
have also obtained permission of General 
Frederick Grant to have his father, General 
U. S. Grant, impersonated on the stage. 

Several years ago I read a book called 
" Ground Arms," by an Austrian noble- 
woman, which made a strong impression upon 
me, for it was written with great power and 
ability, and was an eloquent protest against 
the evils of war. 

If either " The Diary of a Refugee " or 
the play can in any way convey the horrors 
of war to the public and make them feel as 
I do in regard to the terrible suffering and 
misery which it entails upon so many inno- 
cent people, then indeed I shall feel that my 
work has not been in vain. This is the spirit 
that has prompted me to edit the Diary and 
to dramatize it. I hope the public, on reading 
the book and seeing the play, will take mxy 
representation of Southern hf e as a true one, 
and after following the family through their 
trials and troubles, will understand with what 



INTRODUCTION ix 

great sincerity and thankfulness they echo 
General Grant's famous words, " Let us have 
peace." 

It is with great pleasure that I give a 
letter received from Admiral Dewey ex- 
pressing his approval of the description given 
in the " Diary of a Refugee " of the battle 
of Port Hudson, as the Admiral was on the 
" Mississippi " at the time. 

OFFICE OF 

ADMIRAL OF THE NAVY, 

WASHINGTON. 

April U, 1910. 
My dear Mrs. Fearn: 

I have read the extract from your mother's diary 
with the greatest interest. I would suggest that 
you publish it just as she saw it at the time, and 
it will form a very interesting history of that part 
of the Civil War. 

With sincere regards. 

Faithfully yours, 

George Dewey. 

This was in answer to a letter that I wrote 
asking him if he could suggest any changes 
or additions to the account of the battle given 
in the Diary. 

Frances Fearn. 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

CRESCENT PLANTATION, 
BAYOU LAFOURCHE, LA., 

APRIL, 1862. 

Saturday, 
With a sad heart and a feeling of great 
depression I went on my usual round of visits 
to-day. First to the negroes' hospital, then to 
see the young mothers who have recently been 
confined; afterwards to the children's ward, 
where they are kept during the day under the 
care of an old mammy, while their mothers are 
at work in the fields. These and many other 
daily duties incumbent upon the mistress of 
a plantation, leave one few spare hours. 

I found the inmates of the hospital awaiting 
me with great impatience and eagerness, but I 
fear they missed my usual cheerfulness in 
spite of the effort I made to bring all the 
cheer and comfort I could to the poor suffer- 
ing ones. It was impossible not to feel the 



2 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

foreshadowing of the evil days that must in- 
evitably come to us with the fall of New 
Orleans. 

One of my greatest pleasures is in distribut- 
ing the delicacies from our own table to the 
invahds. As coming from the master's table 
they are greatly appreciated. 

To-day, as I sat and talked with the differ- 
ent ones, I must have shown in my face or 
manner the great anxiety that I was feeling, 
and perhaps I was a httle more tender over 
them than usual, for they looked up into my 
face, and one said, " Ole missus, what is aihn' 
yo'? Yo' ain't never looked so sad befo'." 
My usual gayety and light-heartedness must 
indeed have left me; how could it be other- 
wise, feeling as I do the sense of coming dan- 
ger? With the fall of New Orleans in the 
course of a short time we must leave our dear 
old home, and what will then become of the 
hospital and its inmates? This is my special 
work; I organized it and have carried it on 
under the direction of our excellent family 
physician, who attends and cares for the 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 3 

slaves as well as for the family. We have 
had some of the more intelligent negro women 
trained and taught to be nurses, for they make 
very good ones. Apart from any illness that 
the slaves are subject to, we often have acci- 
dents of a more or less serious nature, which 
must inevitably be the case where there is such 
a great variety of work. The plantation is 
really like a village, with its carpenter and 
blacksmith shops, its brick masons, and other 
trades, in which many of them show great 
skill and abihty. 

As it is Saturday, the day on which the 
women and children come to me for any 
clothes that they may need, I have had great 
pleasure in giving out to many of them the 
things that they ask for; of my many duties 
the one I enjoy most is the privilege my hus- 
band gives me of distributing the clothes to 
the women and children. The materials are 
bought in large quantities at wholesale prices. 
A certain number of seamstresses are detailed 
to make them up into all kinds of necessary 
garments for the men and women and chil- 



4 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

dren. After they are made, they are put in 
sets and kept in a large room, used only for 
that purpose. Each person is allowed a cer- 
tain number of every necessary article of 
clothing. I am always pleased when I can 
reward a young woman, girl, or child for 
good conduct by giving an extra pretty dress, 
handkerchief, or perhaps a string of bright 
beads, as the latter is greatly prized. 

When the crops have been good, my hus- 
band distributes a sum of money to the ne- 
groes in proportion to the extra amount of 
work that they have done during the grind- 
ing season. It is the occasion for great 
rejoicing and gayety. Everyone puts on 
their best clothes and a general feeling of 
good humor prevails. The gallery is gayly 
decorated where my husband sits at the table 
on which is placed the gold coin, and as each 
negro comes up in line, their name is called 
by the overseer and they receive the amount 
due to them according to the work that 
they have done and their good conduct dur- 
ing the year. The women and children are 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 5 

included. The young mothers receive a pres- 
ent for their babies and it is not an unusual 
occurrence for a mother to borrow an extra 
baby to present, so as to receive an addi- 
tional present! When found out, this creates 
no end of joking and amusement. We all 
know it is sometimes difficult for white moth- 
ers to recognize their own offspring, but how 
much more difficult must it be for a man to 
know the difference between two black babies. 
Poor James is often fooled! It makes a pic- 
turesque scene, with the decorations of the 
gallery, the mixture of gay colors, the cos- 
tumes of the negroes, and the vivid greens and 
bright tropical coloring of plants and flowers 
in the garden that surrounds the house. 

The distribution of this money takes place 
immediately after the sugar is made. When 
the grinding season is over a week's hohday 
follows, during which the negroes, vnih great 
joy, prepare for the ball that is given at the 
end of the week. The negro women are al- 
lowed to go in the wagons used for hauling 
the cane to Donaldsville, the nearest village, 



6 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

where they are given the great pleasure of 
spending their money on the necessary adorn- 
ment for the hall. Their great ambition is to 
be able to disappear from the ballroom sev- 
eral times during the evening, and to reap- 
pear with some startling addition to their 
toilets, thereby exciting the envy of the others. 
We all take the greatest pride and pleasure 
in decorating the ballroom with wreaths of 
evergreen, flags, etc., and my husband gives 
them carte blanche for their supper as regards 
the killing of chickens and making of cakes, 
ice creams, and sweets of all kinds, for which 
they have a great weakness. The ball is 
opened by members of the family dancing the 
first set of Lancers. After that the floor is 
given up to the negroes, who enter into the 
enjoyment most heartily. Any stranger look- 
ing in upon this scene would not believe that 
they were slaves. But why should they not be 
light-hearted? They have no responsibilities, 
they are well cared for, and clothed and fed? 
If the war ends unsuccessfully for us, will 
they, with their freedom, remain thus? 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 7 

The night of the ball was clear and beau- 
tiful, the full moon bringing out all objects 
with a distinctness more vivid even than by 
day. The house and surrounding grounds 
were deserted, all having gone to the ball. 
My husband had been detained, so we were 
the last to leave the house. The road to the 
low building where the ball was going on was 
through a long avenue of overarching trees. 
Not a sound was to be heard or a moving 
object in sight, when suddenly there appeared 
in the path before us, as though coming up 
from the ground, a big negro, who held in his 
hand one of the large formidable knives used 
for cutting the cane. It ghstened in the moon- 
light as he advanced threateningly towards 
my husband. He is the one vicious and really 
bad negro on the plantation. Being very 
lazy he had run off three months before, so as 
to avoid the hard work necessary for all hands 
during the grinding season. 

My husband's influence over the slaves is 
very great, while they never question his au- 
thority, and are ever ready to obey him im- 



8 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

plicitly, they love him! It was only necessary 
for him to command this negro to put down 
his knife, for the darkey to fall at my hus- 
band's feet and beg for forgiveness. The 
negro's reason for returning at this time wais 
in order to go to the ball. He said, " Ole 
massa, do what yo' will with me, only le' me 
go to the ball to-night!" My husband gave 
his permission, but said, " I'll not punish you, 
as you will receive your punishment at the 
hands of those whom you left to do your share 
of the work." 

It was a terrible scene when he entered the 
ballroom. His fellow-slaves fell upon him, 
and it was with great difficulty that he was 
finally rescued after a severe beating at their 
hands and being put out of the ballroom. It 
is a curious fact that the good workers have 
no sympathy for those who run off and shirk 
their duty. 

Sunday night. 
The service that we had to-day in our little 
church on the plantation seemed to me unusu- 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 9 

ally touching and pathetic. As I watched the 
faces of the slaves who were so unconscious of 
any impending evil in their lives, I felt in- 
stinctively that it was the last service that we 
should have together. 

This church was built by my husband for 
the benefit of the slaves. Our dear pastor is 
from the North, he is very talented and a most 
excellent man. Curiously enough, he came 
South full of bitterness against all slave- 
owners. To his great astonishment, my hus- 
band, on first meeting him, employed him at a 
salary of five thousand dollars a year to take 
care of the religious education and training of 
the negroes. He accepted, feehng he had found 
a field for great missionary work; but not so 
much in regard to the negroes as to what he 
hoped to be able to accomplish with the 
wicked, benighted Southern slave-owners! 
He came fully prepared to preach a crusade 
against us, but he has succeeded in making us 
all love him, and I have every reason to believe 
that he has changed his opinions in many re- 
spects regarding us. 



10 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

Our plantation life has been a revelation 
to him, so different is it from what he ex- 
pected. His influence over the slaves has been 
wonderfully good. He has educated one of 
the more intelHgent men to become a preacher, 
and we go often to hear him when he preaches 
at the evening services. It is extraordinary 
what remarkable musical talent many of the 
negroes have, and also very sweet voices, so 
that the singing in church is really unusually 
good. 

Monday, 
Another anxious day! The steamboats 
"Mary Tee" and "The Lafourche," char- 
tered by my husband, are being loaded with 
sugar. The fires are kept up day and night 
ready to start as soon as the dreaded news 
reaches us that the Federal gunboats have 
passed the forts. The conduct of the negroes, 
and their evident desire to show their sym- 
pathy and readiness to aid us in every 
way in these trying times, is very touch- 
ing. The more so as they know that the 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 11 

arrival of the Federals will mean their 
freedom. 

Wednesday, 
We were aroused in the middle of the 
night by the arrival of Richard. He had 
ridden for twenty-four hours, only stopping 
to change horses; as he brought us the fatal 
and dread tidings that New Orleans was in 
the possession of the enemy. We were a sad 
little group that gathered around the break- 
fast table, each one trying to cheer the other 
with the hope that our fate may not in reality 
be as dreadful as we anticipated. 

This beautiful spring morning, the season 
of the year when the dear old place is at its 
best with a great abundance of roses of many 
varieties, none more lovely in the richness of 
its color than the "Cloth of Gold"; these 
with the greatest profusion of climbing roses 
that cover the pillars of the galleries, the 
fences, and run riot everywhere with a dark 
background of all the rich greens of the 
tropical plants, make a lovely scene, such as 



12 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

one is loath to leave. Never did the old typi- 
cal Southern home, in its simplicity and com- 
fort, seem so attractive, with the large rooms, 
high ceilings, and all that tends to make a 
home beautiful and comfortable, filled with 
interesting souvenirs of the many places that 
we have visited in our extensive travels. The 
most insignificant article seems to have a spe- 
cial value, and as I look upon it all, I feel in- 
stinctively that I shall never see it again. 

Although I am a Virginian by birth and 
have lived all my life in the South and West, 
I have never approved of slavery. It has been 
one of the greatest sorrows and trials of my 
life that my husband should own so many 
slaves, both in Louisiana and Kentucky. 
This has made me feel the great responsibility 
resting upon us in the care of them, and I am 
thankful to say my husband has shared it with 
me, and always been willing and anxious to 
mitigate their condition as much as possible, 
by being kind, considerate, and just in his 
treatment of them. Their appreciation of 
what he has done for them has been clearly 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 13 

shown in their love and devotion to him and to 
each member of the family. 

Last year, on an occasion when my husband 
had to leave us for many days, and there 
was no white person living within several 
miles of the house, before going he called the 
negroes around him and told them that he 
was going off to be absent some time, and to 
their care and protection he entrusted their 
mistress and his child. He felt that they 
would allow nothing to harm his loved ones 
during his absence. The night after he left 
was a beautiful, clear moonlight night. The 
house is entirely surrounded by a wide balcony 
on which all the front rooms open v/ith French 
windows. In the middle of the night I heard 
an unusual sound and got up to ascertain the 
cause of it. As I opened my door I saw 
innumerable figures rise up in the moonlight, 
and a chorus of voices called out, " Don't be 
afraid, ole missus, we are just here guarding 
you and the child for ole massa." I went back 
to bed feeling that we were safe in their 
keeping, but I lay awake many hours won- 



14 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

dering what freedom would do for these 
child-hke people. Would they be improved 
by it, or would they lapse back into a savage 
condition when the firm and guiding hand of 
the master was taken from them? 

My son's news of the fall of New Orleans 
was confirmed while we were at breakfast by a 
man on horseback, riding rapidly down the 
Baj^ou road, calling out as he went by, " The 
Yankees are coming ! " It was the signal for 
us to gather up the things we most valued of 
our belongings and to go on board " The 
Lafourche," wliich was waiting with steam 
up in the Bayou, fronting the house, to carry 
us off. 

It was a sad little group that left the dear 
old home. We were so overcome with sorrow 
and terror as to our future fate that we gave 
no thought of what we were taking with us. 
Th^/iiegroes were far more thoughtful for us; 
one picked up my husband's favorite sofa, an- 
other his chair, one even went so far as to 
sweep the silver on the breakfast table into a 
handy clothes-basket and carry it on board. 




< 0^ 

^ 'I 

Q g 

O 8 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 15 

Indeed, we had great cause afterwards to be 
very thankful to them for their forethought 
in the provision that they made for our com- 
fort and for the supphes that they put on 
board ; the latter were sadly needed before our 
journey was over. 

My heart was torn at the separation from 
my son Richard, who had returned to join his 
company. We Southern women need all our 
strength and courage to give up our sons and 
loved ones, our homes are taken from us, and 
we must become refugees! 

My husband has been able to put on board 
the steamboat about one-half of this year's crop 
of sugar. The plantation is only three miles 
from Donalds^dlle, at the mouth of the Bayou 
Lafourche. When we entered the Mississ- 
ippi River, it had become a seething mass 
of craft of all kinds and description that could 
be made into possible conveyances to carry 
away the terror-stricken people who were fly- 
ing from their homes with their loved ones 
and treasures, all making a mad rush for the 
mouth of Red River. 



16 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

We who had hved on the plantation, with 
the greatest abundance of food and supplies 
of all kinds, have not felt the effects of the 
war, but now that we are refugees and in a 
part of the country that has been drained of 
much that it produced, and the white laboring 
man has joined the army, leaving the fields 
but scantily cultivated, we begin to feel the 
want of food. Our party consists of seven in 
the family and eighteen servants, and the offi- 
cers and crew of the steamboat, making many 
mouths to feed; frequently we are not allowed 
to land if there are few provisions in the 
place, and are met at the wharf by men with 
shotguns, who not politely, but very forcibly, 
request us to move on, and it is not an unusual 
thing for us to have nothing but sweet pota- 
toes and corn bread to eat for days at a time. 

After months on board the steamboat, with 
bad water as well as a lack of proper food, we 
are all beginning to feel the effects, so that 
my husband has decided to go to Alexandria 
for the winter. 



II 



ALEXANDRIA, AUGUST. 

We arrived here none too soon as two of the 
family have typhoid fever, my daughter and 
niece. It would be impossible to tell of all 
the kindness and hospitality that we have re- 
ceived at the hands of these dear kind peo- 
ple. Dr. Davidson, not only a very skilled 
and remarkable physician, but loved by all 
who know him, is a most generous man, giv- 
ing us much that cannot be bought for any 
amount of money. These are times when the 
possession of money means nothing, for 
there is nothing to buy with it. All the more 
one appreciates the kind generous hearts who 
are willing to share with others less fortu- 
nate than themselves whatever they may pos- 
sess in the way of provisions. 

A month later, 
Now that my invalids are convalescent, my 
husband has rented a hotel which was once a 

17 



18 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

favorite summer resort, twenty-five miles 
from Alexandria, in a pine forest, where 
there is also a very good spring of mineral 
water, which is supposed to be a good tonic 
suitable for strengthening our poor invalids. 

Pine Forest. 
What a remarkable place! The hotel 
which could accommodate two or three hun- 
dred people, has been abandoned and left to 
go to ruin. The fm^niture has been taken 
away, only a few beds remain with corn- 
shuck mattresses, and chairs, the seats of 
which are made of cowhide. It presented a 
forlorn appearance as we drove up. I must 
say that my heart sank at the prospect of 
making a home here. It seemed so hopeless. 

Tuesday, 
Yesterday I drove for twenty miles with 
Jack in the wagon drawn by four horses, 
carrying with me several hundred dollars 
with which to buy provisions. Imagine my 
despair and disappointment when I returned 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 19 

at night with one pint bottle of milk, a dozen 
eggs, a small sack of corn meal, and one 
chicken to feed twenty hungry mouths! 
What really saves us from starvation is a 
beautiful clear stream that runs through this 
forest. In it are the most delicious fresh- 

; water trout, at least they seem so to us. My 
husband delights in awaking the children in 
the morning at an early hour with the call, 
" Get up, girls, fish, or no breakfast." So 

' he would have us all out fishing most seri- 

( ously for the food of the day. We cook 
them out of doors (we have no stove) in our 
only cooking utensil, — a frying-pan. There 
is also a coffee-pot, which we look at wdth 
longing eyes in anticipation of the day when 

» we shall have some coffee made in it, but as 
yet we have not been able to find any coffee 
that we could buy. 

Ten days later. 
Great excitement yesterday. We saw an 
Indian coming from the forest with a deer 
on his back. The shout that we sent up must 



20 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

have reminded him forcibly of his tribe when 
on the war path. He started to run, but 
there was no escape for him, he was too 
quickly surrounded by a hungry crowd. The 
gold pieces that we held out to him very soon 
changed his fears to amusement and wonder, 
for he had never seen so much money before. 
The deer was quickly dropped at our feet, 
and the money grasped with great eagerness, 
for he was all anxiety to get away, thinking 
perhaps that we might regret our bargain. 
He little knew how hungry we were, and 
what a feast that deer represented to us. 
Never did anything taste so good. 

We had another piece of good luck. One 
of the children found a tomato bush in an 
old, abandoned vegetable garden. These, 
added to the venison, made indeed a feast 
fit for the gods in our eyes. 

In spite of the lack of food and comforts 
we are all improved in health, for the pure 
air of this pine forest and the water have 
proved such good tonics that our invalids 
have entirely recovered. 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 21 

With the approach of winter and the con- 
dition of the house being such that it affords 
no protection against the cold (no glass in the 
windows and the roof open in many places), 
my husband has decided to go back to Alex- 
andria for that season. The question of 
clothes has become a very serious one; it is 
not that we are concerned as to the latest 
fashions. Oh, no. It is too serious for that 
small consideration. I really do not know 
how we could have got through the winter if 
we had not had a great piece of good luck. 
While living on the steamboat, my husband 

! received a letter from the owner of a coun- 
try store on Bayou Plaquemine, offering to 
sell him the contents of the store, for what 

i seemed a very large sum of money, if my hus- 
would pay him half of it in sugar and the rest 
in gold. The Bayou was too narrow for us 
to go in the steamboat, so we rowed up in 
small boats, starting at dawn. 

It was a day never to be forgotten. The 
beauty and picturesqueness of the Bayou have 
been made famous in Longfellow's " Evan- 



22 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

geline." In our imagination we passed the 
very spot where Evangeline was asleep, and 
Gabriel, her lover, went by not seeing her. 

From the realms of poetic imagination we 
were suddenly brought face to face with the 
stern realities of life, for we were badly in 
need of clothes. My husband had no list of 
the contents of the store, so we were unable 
to form any idea of what we might find. 
When we reached it, on opening the door he 
said, " Now, girls, it is all yours," which 
was as welcome a sound to us as if he was 
offering us a gold mine. Just imagine a lot 
of women without sewing materials of any 
kind! — no thread, needles, buttons, etc., to say 
nothing of dress materials — turned loose even 
in a country store. No words can describe 
the excitement and exultant exclamations on 
opening a box to find the very things that 
we needed most, as we had become very sim- 
ple in our wants and tastes. There was no 
question of scorning anything. Oh, no! We 
were overjoyed when we found about sixty 
yards of old-fashioned plaid barege, and such 







HtffcMfriiiiriWiwW 



EVANGELINE OAK 

From a draiving by Rosalie Urquhart 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 23 

a plaid! The size of the squares and odd 
mixture of colors were very startling, but 
that made no difference. We rose above such 
small matters, it meant a dress. 

We filled the boat with our newly acquired 
possessions and returned to the steamer feel- 
ing happier and much relieved in our minds, 
in regard to the replenishing of our ward- 
robes for the winter. One must see the con- 
tents of an American country store to appre- 
ciate the great variety and possibilities it 
affords, as it contains a little of everything. 

ALEXANDRIA. 

We are now settled for the winter in 
rather a well-furnished house, and are quite 
comfortable. I have started the children to 
school, my daughter and nephew. My hus- 
band's sugar is a blessing, not only to us, but 
throughout this part of the country, as with 
it he is able to get in exchange much that 
cannot be bought with money. His great de- 
sire is to get together by means of his sugar 
a supply of provisions for some of our Army 



J 

24 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

posts that are beginning to feel the want of 
food, owing to the blockade. How the 
Southern women suffer, thinking of our dear 
brave young sons, who have been brought up 
in the greatest luxury and ease, many fight- 
ing in the ranks of our Army, enduring the 
greatest hardships and privations. We know 
that they are doing it without a murmur and 
we are proud of their brave and unselfish 
lives. 

ALEXANDRIA, 
APRIL, 1863. 

Shall I ever be able to recall all that I have 
gone through since I last made an entry in 
my diary? It seems an eternity, so much have 
I suffered and such terrible scenes have I 
witnessed. 

When my husband had succeeded in col- 
lecting a sufficient quantity of provisions he 
offered them to the Government for the re- 
lief of the garrison at Port Hudson, where 
my son Richard was stationed. The Govern- 
ment gave him the use of a steamer and the 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 25 

permission to take us with him. He went 
with the hope of being able to see Richard. 
The trip down the river was made safely, 
without any accident worth recording. But 
on the afternoon of March 14th we felt the 
signs of excitement, for when we got in sight 
of Port Hudson it was evident that the Fed- 
eral gunboats were getting into line for the 
approaching battle. The Captain felt a hesi- 
tation about landing, but we were too anxious 
to see Richard, so after a consultation we 
decided to risk it, and most thankful were we 
for having done so. 

Strangely enough the general in command 
selected Richard (without knowing that we 
were on the steamer), to bring the order to 
the Captain telling him not to remain at the 
landing, but to go around the bend of the 
river in front of Port Hudson, to await the 
result of the battle. In case the enemy 
passed we were to go up the river to Port de 
Russy. The Captain disobeyed the order to 
the extent of remaining fifteen minutes, en- 
abling us to have these precious moments 



26 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

with our dear boy. By this time it was dark. 
The order was for all lights to be put out on 
the boat. Even blankets were held up in 
front of the engine fires as we crept around 
the bend. We had not gone far, however, 
before the Federal gunboats opened fire upon 
us, the shells falling fast and thick. Had 
one of them struck our frail wooden steamer 
it would have been instantaneous death to all 
and complete destruction of the steamer. 

Our escape from destruction or capture 
was owing to the fact that the gunboat 
" Mississippi " which was detailed to capture 
us was struck by a shell from our forts, and 
her machinery being disabled she ran aground 
and caught fire. We were near enough to 
hear the commands given on the " Mississ- 
ippi " and to witness the terrible scenes that 
followed when she caught fire. I shall never 
forget the terrors of it, and not until we were 
safely around the bend of the river in front of 
Port Hudson did we realize the extent of 
our own danger, and how narrow an escape 
we had made. We completely lost all 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 27 

thought or consciousness of any personal 
danger to ourselves. We could think of 
nothing but Richard and the gallant defend- 
ers of our forts. The fleet against them 
looked so grim and formidable that our hearts 
were filled with terror at the thought of 
what their fate might be. 

After we reached our point of refuge we 
waited, according to our instructions, until 
midnight, when we saw the Federal gunboat 
" Hartford " pass the forts. This was to be 
the signal for us to go on to Fort de Russy, 
seventy miles up the river, the garrison there 
being in great need of food. We were able 
to give them some of the supplies, but it 
was not long before the fort was taken and 
we were compelled to return to Alexandria. 
I fear it will be a long, anxious waiting be- 
fore we can learn Richard's fate. 

Several months later. 
My husband has at last joined us after 
many months of anxiety and uncertainty as 
to his fate, being unable to communicate with 



28 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

him or in any way get news of him. He re- 
turned to the plantation, as he felt anxious 
about the slaves and wanted to see what he 
could do for them. 

The plantation facing on the Bayou is 
three miles in length, but extends many 
miles back to the swamps. My husband re- 
turned to it from the rear, and none too soon, 
for as he entered from the swamps the Fed- 
erals were approaching from Donaldsville, 
coming by the Bayou road in front of the 
plantation. He called the negroes around 
him and told them that when the Federals 
took possession of the place they would be 
given their freedom, but if they wanted to go 
with him, he would take them to Texas where 
he would give them work and treat them as 
he had always done, but they would still be 
slaves. In answer a chorus of voices ex- 
claimed, " Ole Massa, we'll go with yo'." 
Out of several hundred slaves only fifteen 
young half-grown boys remained on the 
place. My husband then ordered all the 
wagons to be made ready, the very large 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 29 

ones which are used for hauhng sugar-cane 
from the fields to the mill, each requiring 
four mules. In these he put the old women, 
young children, and the sick; the women and 
those who were able followed on foot. The 
negroes were allowed to take some of their 
belongings with them, as they placed great 
value upon their personal possessions, and 
would have been very unhappy at leaving 
them. Of this fact my husband realized the 
importance, as he did not wish them to be- 
come dissatisfied so as to regret their decision 
to go with him. It was not many hours 
after they went off that the Federals entered 
the plantation from the front and took pos- 
session of the place. The Federal officers 
of the regiment occupied the dear old house 
for several months before they destroyed it. 
One of the officers fell in love with a Creole 
girl living near the place. He told her that 
they were going to destroy the house and 
what they could not carry off they w^ould 
break up or burn. If there was anything she 
would like to have he would gladly give it 



so DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

to her. She asked for my beautiful silver 
tea-kettle that she knew I valued greatly, also 
the piano which was much prized. He sent 
them to her. In a letter which I have just 
received from her she writes me that she is 
keeping them for me, and regrets that she did 
not ask for more, as everything has been 
taken away, silver, pictures, and many things 
that I have been collecting for years, and 
with which I have very dear associations. 
Oh! this awful war. When will it end? 
How many innocent ones must suffer 
for the ambition of the terrible politicians. 
If only those who caused the war had to 
suffer, it would be more just. 
' My husband's account of his experience 
during the hundreds of miles he traveled 
with his slaves is really most extraordinary. 
They were often very short of food and had 
many hardships to endure, but not once did 
the slaves falter or cease in their vigilant 
care and consideration of him. 

After a long and fatiguing day their only 
sleeping-place would be on the ground, and 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 31 

those who could would sleep in the wagons, 
but the negroes never failed to make a com- 
fortable place for him. It is a strange sight 
to see. these trains of wagons and negroes 
going through the country often with only 
one member of their master's family, and 
not infrequently there would be only a 
woman who most confidingly intrusted her- 
self to the protection and care of her slaves 
when escaping from home and seeking safety 
wherever one could find it. In most cases 
it was in Texas. 

A touching instance of this was a beautiful 
young girl of eighteen years of age, who was 
( an orphan with only two brothers. When 
\ they went off to join the Army she was left 
, in charge of the plantation. One of her 
brothers was killed, the younger one re- 
turned home badly wounded, just as the 
I Federals were approaching their plantation, 
and they were making their escape from the 
: rear, as my husband had done, with her 
I brother in a wagon made into an impromptu 
ambulance by the negroes, all of whom faith- 



32 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

fully followed her. To their care she in- 
trusted herself and the wounded boy, for he 
was not more than twenty; for weeks they 
traveled through a country not seeing a 
white person for days. She gave touching 
accounts of how the negroes would take 
turns in helping her nurse the wounded boy, 
carrying him often in their arms when the 
road would be so rough that they feared the 
jolting of the wagon might increase his suffer- 
ings, showing always the greatest love and 
loyalty to the two young creatures who felt 
no fear in their care. After reaching Texas 
they became our neighbors, and I learned to 
know how much they owed to the care and 
devotion of these blacks during this long 
journey. But this brave dear young girl was 
called upon to face the additional sorrow of 
seeing her brother gradually pass away. 



y^;V 













I II II I - I I -. ■ ■■■ - ~ —' I ' " ■' *i««*'— ' i i»i mJ 



THE DARK FOREST 

From (( (Irdwitif/ hif Rotialie Urqnhart 



Ill 



SHREVEPORT, LA. 

Alas! there seems no rest for us, as again 
we must start on our wanderings. This time 
Texas is our destination. It is urgent that 
we should get there as soon as possible ; owing 
to the fact that James has bought a ranch on 
which he wishes to settle the negroes, it is im- 
portant that he should be there to organize 
the work in establishing them. 

We reached here yesterday, coming by 
boat from Alexandria. It was a sad trip for 
us all, but oh! most touchingly sad for dear 
Mrs. General Taylor, who was put under 
my husband's care with her four children, 
two of them bright, promising boys, both 
handsome and fine specimens of health. The 
elder was named for his grandfather. Presi- 
dent Zachary Taylor, and the other for his 
father, General Richard Taylor, familiarly 

33 



34 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

known to his friends as " Dick " Taylor, a I 
gallant soldier and a most charming man.* 

The second day out. 
One of the boys showed symptoms of scar- 
let fever, but before it was really known what 
was the matter with him he died very sud- 
denly. 

Two days later. 
I have been all day with Mrs. Taylor. It 
is marvelous, her courage and sweet resigna- 
tion to the will of God, as both of her darling 
boys are dead. The younger died this morn- 
ing. In the midst of her own overwhelming 
sorrow she is unselfishly thinking what a ter- 
rible grief it would be to her husband who 
is with the army, fighting gallantly in de- 
fense of our country. The two little girls 
are a great comfort to their mother, as they 
are very sweet and attractive children. 

* He was a great personal friend of King Edward VII of 
England. 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 35 

A week later. 
It is a great temptation to linger on here 
as everyone has been most kind and hos- 
pitable, sharing generously with us whatever 
they have. It is an attractive little city 
with its many pretty and comfortable houses, 
, and as the weather is very hot they seem de- 
lightfully cool and most suitable for this part 
of the State. 

The friends who have taken us in have 

large and beautiful grounds surrounding 

I their houses, the gardens of which are full 

' of the greatest profusion and variety of 

', flowers, with some fine old trees. It all 

( seems so peaceful and quiet that it is hard 

\ to realize the dreadful war raging not far 

' from us, the beautiful and happy homes that 

have been destroyed, the brokenhearted men 

and women who are wandering from place to 

place in search of safety and peace. Oh! 

the horrors of war and most dreadful of all, 

of civil war; brother fighting against brother 

and families divided. God grant that it may 

not last long is the prayer that is in the hearts 



36 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

of the suffering women in the North as well 
as in the South. 

James just told me that all the arrange- 
ments for our trip are completed and that we 
start to-morrow, going in our own carriages, 
taking an extra wagon to carry our few pos- 
sessions in the way of clothes and provisions; 
also the servants. It is with really great re- 
gret that I leave our dear, good, kind friends 
and this attractive place where I had rest and 
peace. 

KAUFMAN RANCH, TEXAS. 

A month later. 

We reached here yesterday, glad to get to 
even this wooden shanty, which is to be our 
home for the next few months, but one could 
not call it luxurious in its appointments, for 
last night we were awakened by the rain fall- 
ing in on us, so much so that we spent the 
greater part of the night sitting up under 
umbrellas. 

I meant to keep an account of our trip, but 
I was generally so tired when we stopped 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 3T 

for the night that I really could not write. 
The trip was monotonous, nothing very ex- 
citing happened. We usually made an early 
start in the morning, sometimes before sun- 
rise, and we were well repaid for doing so, as 
it was often very beautiful, the sun rising 
over the plains and the air deliciously cool at 
that hour in the morning. Then at midday, 
we were generally fortunate enough to camp 
by the side of a clear running stream, giv- 
ing us the chance of a bath, which we found 
most refreshing, as it was always very hot in 
the middle of the day. 

The country was not particularly inter- 
esting, some parts were made pretty and at- 
tractive by the beautiful wild flowers, and the 
growth of trees following the stream, but as 
a rule it was monotonous, sometimes we could 
not even see the sign of a house during the 
whole way. When we reached one at night 
we were always offered the hospitality of the 
place, and not infrequently the house would 
be too small to take us all in, so the men 
would sleep on the balcony and the women 



38 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

were given the beds; but I preferred the bal- 
cony and fresh air. They offered most gen- 
erously to share with us whatever food they 
had prepared for themselves, but unfortu- 
nately the frying-pan was the one cooking 
utensil in which all their food was cooked, so 
I took milk and boiled eggs. These country 
people are very simple and kind-hearted. 
Many of them have had very tragic lives 
coming to this State from all parts of the 
country, often for tragic reasons. They wel- 
come strangers, as in them they feel a con- 
necting link with the world which they have 
left behind. 

A month later. 
Nothing has happened during these weary 
weeks of anxiety that is worthy to be recorded 
here. I fear I am allowing myself to get into 
a most despondent state of mind, which is 
not usual with me, but how can it be other- 
wise when I am so anxious about Richard, 
who is a prisoner on Johnson's Island. He 
was captured at the fall of Port Hudson. I 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 39 

am indeed most grateful to have seen him, 
and how merciful it was that I was permitted 
to have those *few moments with him before 
the battle began and we were ordered off! 

Now we have just heard that my son James 
has been given command of the Second Ken- 
tucky Regiment, having recovered from the 
wound he received at Fort Donaldson. 
Louis, too, is a captain in one of the Louisi- 
j ana regiments. My three boys! It is so sad! 

Tuesday. 
I have just written to General Grant, ask- 
ing him to do what he can for Richard for 
the sake of old associations, for as boy and 
girl we were much together, and I have al- 
ways loved him. The great soldier will never 
be to me anything but the shy boy with a big, 
loving, generous heart, and a simple nature. 
I feel sure he will use his influence for Rich- 
ard, his cousin. What makes it so dreadful 
is that we have no mail service. The post 
office is fifteen miles away, and the letters are 
brought there by any chance rider who may 



40 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

be going through the country, passing that 
way, and who will kindly take the letters from 
one post office to another, leaving them at his 
convenience. We have an occasional excite- 
ment in an encounter with the much dreaded 
tarantulas, but we get out of their way as 
quickly as possible, for they are difficult to 
kill, and the bite is generally fatal. 

In spite of our efforts to make our wooden 
shanty even habitable, we find it impossible. 
It is not a question of money, for we have 
plenty, but the necessary materials are not 
to be had at any price. We are grateful 
for any distraction, even the smallest incident 
is made much of. So we enjoy the excite- 
ment of sending men on horseback in every 
direction to the country stores within twenty 
or thirty miles to hunt for shoes, as we are all 
sadly in need of them. One of the searchers 
came back very triumphant, as he had found 
one pair in a country store twenty miles away, 
but as they asked him seventy-five dollars for 
them, he hesitated about bringing the shoes; 
he was promptly sent back to fetch them. 




GENERAL ULYSSES S. GRANT 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 41 

Great was the excitement when he returned 
with the shoes. As they were of a small size 
we all wished that our feet might not prove 
too large! It was an anxious moment when 
our turn came to try them on, but I am glad 
that they fit one of the girls, whose pretty 
little feet made her the Cinderella of the oc- 
casion. 

Our only neighbor is the young girl that I 
spoke of before, who came here alone with 
her wounded brother. 

TOWN OF FAIRFIELD. 

A month later, 
I opened you, my dear little book, to pour 
out the despairing cry of a broken-hearted 
mother. Since I last wrote, I have suffered 
too much to be able to record it. Now I feel 
that I must, that perhaps it will help me, and 
I want to write an account of what my brave 
little daughter has done. 

James was away. He had come here on 
business, when someone riding through the 
country brought a letter to the ranch, as he 



42 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

had been well paid to deliver it. The let- 
ter was from an officer of James' regiment. 
He wrote describing my brave boy's death 
on September the 19th, at the battle of 
Chickamauga; how he was killed at the head 
of his regiment charging a battery. When 
I realized what it meant, I became uncon- 
scious, and passed from one fainting spell into 
another, and then into a state of torpor. The 
only person with me was my little daughter. 
She reahzed that I must have the comfort 
and help of being with my husband, also that 
I was in a very desperate mental condition. 
Her first thought was to get me here. The 
ranch is twenty miles away. My husband 
had the carriage, so there was nothing to 
bring me in but the buggy, and she was un- 
willing to send me with one of the negroes, 
owing to my terrible mental condition. But 
even children in such times imbibe the spirit 
of fearlessness. So she, losing all sense of 
danger, started with me lying by her side in 
a helpless condition. She drove through the 
dark night, going through forests, crossing 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 43 

streams that were swollen by the recent rains, 
sometimes over the prairie, where the howls 
of the prairie dogs seemed to bring them 
close upon us. On, on, on she drove; the 
little white face peering eagerly through the 
darkness for the first glimpse of the dawn, 
and shortly after it appeared, she brought me 
safely to the house where my husband was 
staying. Poor little one! They told me she 
was so exhausted by the fatigue and excite- 
ment of the night that she fell asleep at once 
upon entering the house. There were many 
days that they despaired of my life, but being 
able to have the best medical attention, and 
with the tender nursing and care of my hus- 
band, I am now able to be about, but, oh, 
so anxious about Louis and Richard. I am 
most thankful that my youngest son Charles, 
who, owing to his delicate health, was com- 
pelled to remain North, has thus been re- 
moved from danger. 



44* DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

FAIRFIELD. 

Later on. 
Poor James is in a most terrible state of 
mind, as he has heard that one of his partners 
in New York, fearing that our home there 
may be confiscated, has sold the house with 
the furniture and all it contains at auction. 
Intending this to be the home of our old age, 
we had spared no expense in making it 
luxurious in all its appointments. It is very 
hard to think that all the beautiful works of 
art which we had been years collecting, old 
pictures, and rare manuscripts have all been 
sold. My husband does not believe that it 
was necessary. He thinks Mr. Adams be- 
came panic-stricken, and did it without con- 
sulting his older and wiser friends in New 
York. 

This has made him very anxious about other 
valuable property and large interests which 
he has in the North, and has made him decide 
to start for England at once, where he could 
get into communication with his friends. It 
will be several days before we can get suffi- 



DIARY OF A IlEFUGEE 45 

cient provisions together and make other 
necessary preparations. We must travel in 
the same way as we came here, at least as 
far as San Antonio. 



IV 



SAN ANTONIO. 

Nothing could equal our joy at reaching 
this haven of rest. Never did a place seem 
more enchanting and offer to the weary 
travelers so much that was enticing and re- 
freshing. After our long and fatiguing 
journey of weeks, when during the latter 
part of it we slept nearly always on the 
ground with nothing but a blanket under us, 
we truly appreciated the luxury of a bed. 

The place itself is fascinating and pic- 
turesque, with many of the old Spanish houses 
still remaining. The river running through 
parts of the city, with gardens leading down 
to it in the rear of the dwellinghouses, makes 
it most attractive. These gardens are well 
kept and have a great variety of flowers and 
plants pecuKar to this latitude. 

We are overwhelmed with the kindness and 
hospitality of the people. Mr. Hunton and 

46 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 47 

his wife, with whom we are staying, are 
charming and delightful. They are doing 
everything to make our stay an enjoyable 
one for us, but what we are most in need of 
is rest, for we are all worn out by the trip. 
We also need to replenish our wardrobe, as 
we can buy some materials here and it is the 
first time that we have been able to do so 
since we emptied the country store on Bayou 
Plaquemine, more than a year ago! 

We hear that the Federal troops are in 
possession of Brownsville. This will make it 
necessary for us to change our plan of route, 
and instead of going South through Texas, 
we must cross into Mexico at Laredo. This 
will take us across the plains of Texas, where 
there is danger of the Indians, for lately 
they have been making raids on the wagons 
loaded with bales of cotton passing that way, 
killing the drivers and carrying off the cot- 
ton. Now we must wait here until we can 
get together a sufficient number of men as a 
protection in case of an encounter with the 
Indians. 



48 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

I regret the necessity of giving up our 
own carriages and the fact that we must go 
in pubhc stages, the old-fashioned ones, carry- 
ing nine persons ; three on the back seat, three 
in the middle with only a strap at their backs, 
and three with their backs to the horses. As 
the weather is hot, we are buying only the 
simplest thin materials for our dresses and 
other garments. They tell us that we shall 
have to leave them en routes for to have them 
washed would be impossible. 

Our supply of provisions is to be limited 
to smoked beef and corn bread and tea, if 
we are lucky enough to get, first, the water 
to boil, and then the wood to make a fire, 
as alcohol is out of the question. Our 
friends are trying to persuade me not to go 
with James, and reproach him for being will- 
ing to expose us to such great danger. They 
little know how impossible it would be for me 
to stay, that nothing could separate me from 
my husband under the circumstances. These 
are heroic times! They call for heroic action 
on the part of the women as well as the men. 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 4^9 

We must not know what fear means. I have 
long since driven all sense of it from my 
heart. It does not exist for me, and the same 
is the case with our daughter since we re- 
ceived our baptism of fire at Port Hudson. 

The party is gradually being gathered to- 
; gether. To-day James tells me that a Scotch- 
man, two Irishmen, a Swede, three or four 
Englishmen, also some Texans are going! 
There are sixteen in all. The necessary num- 
iber must be eighteen, so we have to wait for 
( two more to be found. They will all be well 
armed and carry a good supply of ammuni- 
I tion. It all seems very exciting, but they are 
I gradually reducing our allowance of luggage 
j to a most distressingly small amount. All 
spare space must be given up to carrying 
fodder and food for the mules. Our allow- 
I ance is one trunk for three of us, as it must 
be carried at the back of the stage. We have 
our handbags, a pillow, and a blanket to 
I sleep on, for the chances are that we shall 
seldom find a house or shelter of any kind. 
With this trip in prospect we have so en- 



i 



50 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

joyed our rest here. The house that we are 
staying in is most comfortable and luxurious 
in many respects. I think it seems doubly so 
to us after the many trying experiences we 
have had since we left our own dear old 
home on the plantation. My dear little com- 
panion, I am afraid that I shall not be able 
to write you up en route, as traveling all 
day in the fresh air makes me very sleepy 
when night comes on, and then I am often 
very tired, though fortunately I am strong 
and well. 

In a few minutes we are off; the party is ! 
complete in number and the awful stage- \ 
coach is at the door, awaiting our party of \ 
four and our few possessions. It does not 1 
take long to store them away. 

Several weeks later. 
This is the first time that I have felt Kke 
writing since we left San Antonio, more than 
two weeks ago. Indeed, until the night be- 
fore last I have had nothing of special interest 
to record. The days have succeeded each 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 51 

other with the same routine, only varied by 
more or less of hardship, fatigue, and lack of 
food and water. The latter is the most ter- 
rible, for at times we had to go many hours 
before reaching a place where we could get 
water fit to drink. 

The weather is hot, the roads are dusty, so 
we have suffered intensely at times from the 
most parching thirst. When we were able to 
find good drinking water we filled every 
available bucket, bottle, or anything in which 
we could carry it. The tin buckets and bot- 
tles we have covered with flannel, and they 
are hanging outside of the coach so as to 
catch any breath of wind that there may 
be, as this is our only method of cooling the 
water. 

We always make a very early start so as 
to get the benefit of the freshness of the 
morning, stopping for several hours in the 
middle of the day to rest the mules and our- 
selves. I cannot say that we look forward 
with any eagerness to our midday meal unless 
by chance we have passed through a village 



52 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

and been able to buy some eggs and milk. 
But as we are a large party, whatever we are 
fortunate enough to get has to be divided 
among so many that it makes each por- 
tion very small, but we were grateful 
for any change from dried beef and corn 
bread. 

I cannot say that we always get our mid- 
day rest under the most favorable conditions, 
as frequently the only shade we can find is in 
the shade of the stage-coaches, not a tree or 
vegetation of any kind being in sight. The 
first five nights after leaving San Antonio 
were beautifully clear, so mild that we could 
sleep most comfortably out of doors. Only 
one night did we have rain. Then we had to 
sleep as best we could, literally sitting up all 
night in the coaches. My daughter gave a 
very amusing account of how she had spent 
the night, refusing to allow an Irishman on 
one side of her and a Scotchman on the other 
to make a pillow of her soft young shoulders. 
Her remonstrances at first called forth abject 
apologies on their part, but as the night wore 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 53 

on, it became a war of defense on her part 
and perfectly unconscious recklessness on 
theirs. As they are good friends of hers and 
exceedingly nice men, they all had a hearty 
laugh over it next morning. 

The life that we are living draws us very 
; closely together, so much so that we have be- 
come like one large family. I am glad to 
say there is not a disagreeable or objection- 
; able member. It is the more remarkable as 
' we are of different nationalities and walks 
( of life ; therefore, have different tastes and 
I habits. But what unites us in a strange bond 
j of friendship and makes us equals, is the 
I sharing of hardships and the threatening 
* danger that we have in common. This was 
i forcibly shown the night before last, when we 
had such an alarming experience which 
brought out the true mettle of all the mem- 
bers of our party. 

Always before settling down for the night 
we sent out scouts to see if there were any 
Indians near enough to us to disturb our 
peace during the night. We had that day; 



54j diary of a refugee \ 

passed scalps by the roadside, and there were 
evidences of there having recently been a con- 
flict between the Indians and a number of 
those who accompanied a train of cotton 
wagons. They had undoubtedly been killed 
and the cotton carried off by the Indians. 
We traveled far into the night until our 
mules became so exhausted that we had to 
stop on their account. We hoped to get away 
from a neighborhood where there might still 
be some Indians lurking about. Our worst 
fears were confirmed by the scouts return- 
ing with the account of a camp of Indians 
not far from us. We could go no farther, our 
mules were exhausted, so there was nothing 
for us to do but to make our means of de- 
fense as strong as possible. I cannot say 
too much in praise of the brave and gallant 
men who were to be our defenders. To add 
to the difficulties of the situation the night 
was dark, so that all our preparations had 
to be made in silence and by starlight, no one 
speaking above a whisper. No fires could be 
made for fear of attracting the notice of 







THE CAMP ON THE PLAINS 
From a drawing by Rosalie Urquhart 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 55 

the much-dreaded Indians. The stars were 
the only witnesses of the solemn and hasty 
means of defense made by this little group 
of weary travelers. The only other women 
in the party were Clarice, Belle, my daughter- 
in-law, and her little girl. We were to stay 
in the center of the camp, the stage-coaches 
forming a barricade around us. There was 
a thick growth of underbrush not far from 
where we camped ; this was cut and brought 
I in large quantities and arranged in piles so 
as to form an outside barricade behind which 
our defenders stood. We also hoped it would 
I serve to conceal from those who were attack- 
( ing us how few we were in number. Belle 
\ and I were to have charge of the extra am- 
, munition, giving it to the men when they 
needed it. After all possible means of de- 
fense had been completed, we said our pray- 
ers and waited silently and motionless, feel- 
ing sure that the Indians must know how near 
we were to them. It was a night of inex- 
pressible horror. What we suffered is beyond 
description. When the first break of dawn 



56 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

came we were a weary, exhausted little band, 
and on looking at each other were shocked to 
find every face around us showing great lines 
and traces of the anxiety and suffering of 
the night. When we realized that we had 
passed safely through it, we all knelt, and 
from every heart went up a prayer of great 
thankfulness for what seemed to us a mi- 
raculous escape. As the day wore on we took 
turns in resting, for we were not at all sure 
but what we might still hear from the neigh- 
boring camp, and about one o'clock we did, 
but in a very different way from what we had 
expected. 

One of their scouts came over to our camp, 
and to our surprise and joy we found that 
those whom we had taken for Indians were 
the drivers and scouts of a train of cotton 
wagons. Their relief on finding out about 
us was as great as ours, for they too had 
stayed up all night under arms, supposing 
our camp to be one of Indians, and expecting 
an attack from us! 

After an evening of rejoicing we took a 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 57 

good rest, and started next day for Laredo, 
our next destination. 



LAREDO. 

We reached here late last evening with the 
hope of finding some decent place where 
we might be moderately comfortable and 
rest for a few days before starting for 
Mexico, 

Alas! Alas! Our hopes soon vanished, 
and great was our disappointment when we 
saw the only accommodation that we could get. 
There is no hotel and the town is crowded, 
not a spare bed to be found. We drove 
around the place, stopped before every decent- 
looking house, my husband offering a large 
sum of money if they would only take us in. 
We were always met with the same answer, 
and were very politely informed that nothing 
would give them more pleasure than to have 
us, but they really had not a spare bed! 
Finally, in despair, we had to take the only 
room which we could get, it is in an adobe 
house. The floor is simply of earth. The 



58 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

bunks in which we sleep are like those of 
immigrants on board transport ships. On 
each side of the room are six berths in a 
row. One side is supposed to be for the 
men and the other for the women, the latter 
having a thin cotton curtain in front of them. 
Not a chair or piece of furniture of any kind, 
nor the tiniest bit of a looking-glass! For all 
toilet purposes we have to go to the public 
fountain in the patio! We have succeeded 
after a great deal of coaxing and bribing in 
getting our landlady to partition off a corner 
of the patio, and after searching in the town 
we finally found a wooden wash-tub, which 
we put in this reserved corner and that serves 
as our bathtub. We take our baths under 
some difficulties, as the curiosity of the smaller 
members of the family and their little friends 
is so great that we have to place someone on 
guard to protect us from the invasion of 
curious eyes. 

We are feeling really very sad at parting 
with our friends with whom we have shared 
so many trials, difficulties, and dangers, which 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 69 

has cemented a strong and lasting friendship 
between us, even if we never meet again. 

We are buying a small supply of provisions 
that can be easily carried. It is, however, a 
great relief to us to hear that in the Mexican 
towns we can always get a good cup of 
chocolate and fresh eggs. Now it is a greater 
joy that we can have our own carriages and 
in every way be more comfortable. Our 
>arty will consist of ourselves and only two 
others, both of them very agreeable and good 
traveling companions. 

Our week here has done us good notwith- 
standing that we have been so very uncom- 
fortable in our lodgings, but the food has 
been good. Fortunately we all like Mexican 
cooking. I am particularly fond of their 
frijoles. 

Just a line before we start, for I know that 
I shall not feel like writing en route. It is a 
most beautiful morning and we are all start- 
ing off in hopeful spirits. 



60 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 



A few days later. 

The days have passed by quickly and the 
trip so far has not been disagreeable, al- 
though not interesting as the country is flat 
and dusty. The Mexican towns are dirty and 
most monotonous, so that we have preferred 
sleeping on the ground away from the vil- 
lages. 

Two days later. 

While it is fresh in my mind I must write 
down the remarkable experience which we had 
yesterday. It was late in the afternoon, we had 
driven all day without seeing a habitation of 
any kind, or heard a sound, or seen any living 
thing, when we suddenly heard in the distance 
a weird sound, and as we approached the di- 
rection from which it came, we could dis- 
tinguish human voices, singing with great 
fervor a religious chant. Then there ap- 
peared from behind the underbrush a low 
adobe hut, and from this hut came the voices. 
My daughter begged to be allowed to enter 
the hut. Her father, who is ever ready to 
grant any wish of hers, the more so if it shows 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 61 

courage, consented, thinking that in this in- 
stance it might be an act of devotion. We 
stopped the carriage some distance away, 
fearing that the noise of our approach might 
disturb those who were attending some re- 
hgious rite. As the girl disappeared over 
the threshold, we all thought how ethereal 
she looked, more like a vision than a reality 
in her simple white muslin. She is very fair, 
her long hair is golden, falling in curls down 
her back, then her beautiful eyes are a 
heavenly blue! As she entered the hut we all 
held our breath. I was inclined to be pro- 
voked with her father for letting her go, 
for though tall for her age she is nothing 
more than a child. After waiting some time, 
I became anxious, and asked one of the men 
of the party, who speaks Spanish, to go after 
her. When they joined us we saw that they 
were both very much moved and overcome by 
something that had happened. When we 
were able to be alone with Mr. Gushing he 
told us of the very remarkable scene that he 
had witnessed on entering the hut. When the 



6a DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

child first went into the hut about twenty- 
dark swarthy Catholic Indians were there, 
down on their knees, praying with extraordi- 
nary fervor to the Virgin. The child, feeling 
no fear, went to the middle of the room before 
they noticed her, and when they looked up 
and saw her, it happened that just at that 
moment a ray of sunshine fell upon her, and 
as they had never seen so fair a person before, 
they took her for a vision come to them in 
answer to their prayer. They crawled on 
hands and knees to her, kissing the hem of 
her garment. The child put her hands on 
their black swarthy heads and prayed that 
some day God would allow her to devote her 
life to the uplifting of the poor and suffering 
ones of this world, such as these. It has evi- 
dently made a great impression upon her, and 
I pray with all my heart that her prayer may 
be answered, and that she will feel the re- 
sponsibility that all good women should feel 
in the use of the great power that is given 
to us to be an influence for good in a woman's 
way on all who came in contact with us. 



We had hardly recovered from the excite- 
ment of the visit to the hut, when three days 
afterwards we met on the road a very hand- 
some young Mexican, wearing the picturesque 
costume usually worn by the swells of the 
country, consisting of a light-colored cloth 
suit, with trousers rather large at the feet, 
and many rows of buttons down the side ; the 
jacket had also brass buttons and was elabo- 
rately embroidered. With this they wear the 
{ national sombrero. His saddle and bridle 
were richly ornamented with gold and silver, 
and the saddle-blanket heavily embroidered in 
gold and silver to match. Some time after he 
had passed us, we saw him returning at full 
gallop with something blue in his hand which 
he waved at us. We stopped, and when he 
drew his horse up by the side of the carriage 

he pressed the blue veil that he held in his 

63 

i 



64? DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

hand, first to his hps and then to his heart, 
and with a profound bow handed it to Clarice, 
looking at her with the most intense admira- 
tion. She was so overjoyed at recovering her 
veil, that she was very profuse in her thanks — 
and not knowing where to stop for the night, 
we asked his advice. As it was late in the 
afternoon, he advised us not to go on much 
further; as a mile or two beyond was the 
gate to his ranch he begged that we would 
accept of his hospitality for the night, or for 
many days, weeks or months, saying that 
every moment that we honored his home with 
our presence would be to him a joy and hap- 
piness beyond words. 

We declined his most pressing and gen- 
erous invitation with many thanks and pro- 
ceeded on our way. We passed his gate, and 
drove some distance further on; as the road 
was in good condition and it was a beautiful 
night, we were glad of the chance to drive as 
late as possible. We found a good place, and 
settled ourselves for the night; being very 
tired we were all sleeping when the noise of 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 65 

approaching horses awoke us. It was our 
young Mexican; he had two carriages, each 
drawn by four horses, and had come to fetch 
us to a dance that he was giving to the beauti- 
ful Senorita. While very profuse in his 
apologies he was very earnest in his deter- 
mination to have us go with liim. My hus- 
band finally consented to let the young people 
go, as Mr. Gushing was willing to go with 
them. They returned as the day was dawn- 
ing, and gave a most enthusiastic account of 
the house, the great courtesy and politeness 
of their host and of his mother, whom they 
described as a most charming woman, who re- 
ceived them very cordially, as did all the girls 
\ and young men. It must have been a most 
beautiful entertainment, as the patio (which 
all Mexican houses have) was illuminated, 
and with all the flowers and wonderful plants, 
was an enchanting sight. 

If Clarice had accepted all the things the 
young Mexican offered her (including his 
heart and his hand) she would have found 
it difficult to have brought them with her. 



66 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

He begged permission to write to her, and 
assured her that he would never forget her — 
and would go to Paris to see her. 

MATAMORAS. 

The days following the dance were un- 
eventful, nothing happening of any interest 
until we reached here, when it was with a 
great sigh of relief that we entered this very 
unpromising town, for it meant to us the end 
of our wearisome and long journey. We had 
our usual experience of driving around in 
search of rooms, and were feeling very dis- 
couraged as every available place was full, 
when my husband met someone whom he had 
known in New Orleans. On hearing of our 
difficulties, he kindly offered to give us the 
use of a room at the back of a shop, where 
his clerks slept in cots such as the soldiers 
use. When my husband asked him, " What 
will they do?" "Oh," he said, "they can 
sleep on the counters of the shop." We were 
not very cordially received by these young 
men when they were told that they had to 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 67 

move out and give us the use of their not 
very luxurious quarters, though these were 
httle better than the shop would be. The 
partition between the two rooms is only of 
paper, not meeting the wall on either side by 
several inches. This makes it rather difficult 
as the occupants of both rooms must avoid the 
sides while dressing. We have the cots as 
close together as possible in the middle of 
the room, and the girls dress standing on 
theirs. All conversation must be scrupu- 
lously avoided ; we were constantly calling out 
to our neighbors, warning them of our 
near presence, wliich they occasionally for- 
got. 

Our baths we take in the patio; it is not 
quite such a struggle with difficulties as we 
had in Lareda. For among these young 
men there are two or three Englishmen who 
have made a very decent bathroom on the 
side of the patio, where they can have their 
" tub " very comfortably, and they have 
graciously given us the use of it during cer- 
tain hours of the day. We have reached 



68 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

that condition of mind that nothing disturbs 
us very much; fortunately, most of the party 
are young; they only see fun in it, and I 
unconsciously imbibe some of their youthful 
spirits! We take our meals at a most ex- 
cellent restaurant where our long privation 
from good food enables us to appreciate and 
do justice to the well-prepared dishes by a 
first-class French chef. We have been so 
long removed from all contact with the out- 
side world that to be once more in touch with 
it, and hear of the events that have taken 
place, makes me feel as though I had been 
asleep, and all the terrible scenes and suf- 
fering that I have gone through might be 
some hideous nightmare. Oh! if I could only 
awake and find it so. My darling boy alive, 
Richard out of prison, and feel that I could 
go back to our dear old home, with our loved 
ones around us once more. 

But I must not allow myself to dwell on 
my own sorrows, for it unnerves me and un- 
fits me for my duty to others — my husband 
needs all the help and comfort that I can 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 69 

give him, my other children all the love and 
devotion that I can bestow upon them. 
Should it not be our first duty as well as 
our pleasure to make those we love and all 
those we come in contact with happy? With 
all my sorrows, I am thankful that one dis- 
tress has been spared me, and that is the 
feeling of remorse, and I pray God that it 
may never enter into my life. 

It seems to me that it must be the most 

' terrible of all sufferintgs to know that we ha\e 

] neglected or failed in our duty to some loved 

\ one who has been taken from us. What a 

I terrible memory it would be to have caused 

( them pain or have been unkind and unjust 

\ to them when they depended upon us for 

, their happiness. How dreadful to have 

turned away from them seeking our own self- 

j ish pleasures, forgetting how they need our 

I love and sympathy — anything but that in 

I my life. There is no sacrifice too great that 

I would not gladly make for those I love, so 

that when God calls them from me there will 

be only sweet memories of the happy, lov- 

i 



70 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

ing life that we have had together, and the 
joyous sound of their voices, and the looking 
back of their dear faces will always be with 
me, and there will be no bitterness in the 
parting. 

We have been watching with great inter- 
est the development of a love affair. One 
of the French officers attached to Maximil- 
ian's staff has fallen in love with Belle. He 
first saw her at the restaurant as his table 
was directly opposite ours. We noticed that 
he was always there when we went in, and 
stayed until we left, watching Belle most 
admiringly. Then she found beautiful flow- 
ers at her place, and finally he asked to be 
presented — but that was the night before we 
were leaving for Bagdad, at the mouth of the 
Rio Grande, as we set sail for Havana. 

BAGDAD. 

This is the worst place that we have seen; 
the so-called hotel is only an old boat, it 
might have been a canal boat dragged ashore, 
with the bunks made into beds for those who 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 71 

were unfortunate enough to have to stop here 
over night. We were not surprised on our 
arrival to find that our friend the French 
officer, Count de Sombreuil, had preceded us, 
and had brought fruit, flowers, and many 
things that added much to our comfort. 
; After we had dined together, and had gone to 
our rooms in the upper part of this extraor- 
dinarily constructed house, we heard strains of 
; very sweet music under our windows; in our 
! haste to look out, we forgot the large earthen 
! jars filled with water that are kept in all 
Mexican windows. We had four windows in 
j a room, each of us went to a window, and as 
, we did so we knocked over the jars; so the 
'^ contents of the four large jars went down in 
« a stream on the heads of the musicians; while 
I it was entirely accidental, it really seemed as 
j if they were knocked over by agreement, as it 
I was simultaneous. This stream of cold water 
] cooled their ardour, for instantly they stopped 
i playing, no more music was heard, and this 
I morning we were not surprised to hear that 
I the Count had left, as it was he who sere- 



72 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

naded Belle. I doubt if we ever hear from 
him, or see him again. 

This place is really nothing more than a 
stretch of sand with a few wretched huts on 
it, and to give it such an important name is 
ridiculous. No ships can come up to it, so 
that it is not even a harbor. 

They have come to tell us that the sailing 
vessel on which we are going to Havana has 
arrived outside the bar, and that we must 
cross this terrible bar, which is very rough, 
in small sailing boats, and that we shall prob- 
ably got a thorough soaking. As we have no 
good clothes to spoil, we don't feel so badly 
about it. The boats are ready, so I must 
stop! 

On board sailing vessel. 
What a terrible experience we have had, 
it was not a case of getting soaked once, but 
many times. It was difficult after being en- 
gulfed by a great wave to know for a mo- 
ment or two if we were still in the boat or 
thrown out into the water; it is marvelous 







jrt * w a »t^ in!wiTi»ift»» i 



(ZIIO^^^ 



MEXICAN WATER JARS 

From a drawing by Rosalie Urquhart 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 73 

how we ever got across without one of us 
being drowned. Then came the great diffi- 
culty of getting on board of this vessel; we 
had to wait until a wave would lift us to the 
side of it, then take our turn in being hauled 
up to the deck by the sailors in any way by 
' which they could get a good hold upon us. 
' Their grip was so rough as to send us rolling 
over the deck, and I am not sure but what 
some of us were taken by the hair of our 
' heads, judging from our disheveled condition. 
] But we lost all thought of ourselves in our 
I great anxiety about James; it seemed impos- 
I sible to get him on board, he is so heavy, 
I weighs two hundred and twenty-five pounds. 
\ After several unsuccessful attempts the sail- 
i ors put a rope around his waist and under his 
arms and hoisted him on board by the means 
of a pulley, but it took time and patience 
to accomplish it. I was terribly afraid the 
ropes might slip or break, or he might be in- 
jured in some way; it was such a relief when 
they finally got him safely on board. We 
have changed our clothes, everything we had 



74 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

on is ruined. While they were not of any 
value, they were an important part of our 
scanty wardrobe. 

It is a most lovely afternoon, only the sea 
is rough, but it has cleared since we came on 
board. We cannot help but wonder why 
the vessel does not start, as we were told we 
must be on board before noon, so that she could 
sail at one o'clock, and now the sun is setting, 
and we have not started. There are only 
four cabins. We are the only passengers and 
my husband thought that he had taken them 
all. He was very much surprised to know that 
one had been reserved for a French officer, 
and that the vessel was waiting for him. He 
had sent a large sum of money to the captain 
to remain until he could go to Mat amor as 
and obtain a leave of absence; if successful, 
he would return before sunset. We are all 
excitement about his coming, for we realize 
that it is Belle's admirer, and we are rather 
relieved to know that he left Bagdad before 
his musicians received their drenching. The 
sun is down, and the captain only agreed to 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 75 

wait for him until night, as he would then 
have had sufficient time to go to Matamoras 
and return, if he had obtained his leave. 

It is dark! and he has not come, so we are 
sailing. 



VI 



Our first day on hoard. 

This small but comfortable sailing vessel 
is owned by the Captain, who is a splendid 
type of a Norseman, and evidently looks 
upon his ship as his most precious possession, 
and speaks of it as though it was the love 
of his life. The day after we left he came 
to the cabin with a letter, which he gave my 
husband. It was from the Count to Belle, and 
was to be given to her in the event of his not 
being able to sail with us. In this letter he 
tells her of his great love for her, and his 
intention of following her to Paris, when he 
hopes to win her love and marry her. 

We are thoroughly enjoying the sea trip, 
being good sailors; we don't in the least 
mind an occasional squall, which is to be ex- 
pected at this season of the year in the Gulf 
of Mexico. We have had some heavenly 

76 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 7*7 

days, with smooth sea and wind enough to 
fill the sails, so that we go skimming over 
the water like a bird. The nights are beauti- 
ful, and with a temperature that makes it de- 
lightful on deck, so that we are tempted to 
spend most of the night there, and rarely go 
down to our cabins until very nearly dawn. 
Captain Hansen is so pleased at our appre- 
ciation of his dear ship that there is nothing 
he will not do for us — we shall be almost 
sorry to reach Havana. There is certainly 
something very fascinating about a sailing 
vessel, when the wind is favorable and the 
sails are full, and you feel yourself gliding 
rapidly over the water, with no motion or 
vibration of machinery; one has the sensation 
of flying. We grudge the days as they pass 
by, for it has been such a complete rest for 
us, and we are all feeling greatly benefited 
by it. 

This is our seventh day. The Captain 
tells us that to-morrow we shall see the shores 
of Cuba, but unless we have a favorable wind 
we shall not be able to enter the harbor, as 



78 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

it is necessary for us to do so before the sun- 
set gun fires; otherwise we must stay outside 
until morning. 

HAVANA, 

JULY 1st. 

We were very unlucky yesterday in having 
a head wind so that we were tacking all day 
in sight of Havana, and just missed by a few 
minutes being able to enter the harbor before 
the gun fired. This morning we entered soon 
after sunrise, and what a wonderfully beau- 
tiful sight greeted us! We were well repaid 
for having got up at the break of day, for 
as the sun rose there gradually came out of 
the mist, first the picturesque old fort, then 
the city with its various-colored houses sur- 
rounded by gardens of tropical vegetation 
and flowers, then the outline of the toj)s of 
the feathery palms against the gradually red- 
dening sky, making a picture never to be 
forgotten. One hates to think that this very 
picturesque, quaint city may all be changed 
some day with the introduction of modern 
improvements and better sanitary conditions, 



1 1 , 1 . II W 11 1 w i ll I I Il lll lW I M i a jfWpipiBWMWPWWH* 




mmmmma^mmmmmMmmmmmmmammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmtmmmmmtmmmmtmm 



HAVANA HARBOR 

From a drawing by Rosalie Urquhart 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 79 

which I am sorry to say it sadly needs. 
While it may become healthier, it will neces- 
sarily lose much of its pictm^esqueness and 
foreign appearance, and I hope they will not 
j)aint the houses all the same color. 

There never was any vehicle so fascinating 
as the Spanish volante,, with its long shafts, 
and peculiar swaying motion, and the pos- 
tilion in his gay and festive costume. They 
are nearly always good-looking, and very 
polite. 

It was very hot coming from the ship; we 
( had a long dusty drive and were very thirsty; 
when we reached the hotel we asked for a 
cool drink; one of our friends advised us to 
try a pine-apple, and we ordered some. 
Great was our astonishment when we were 
given each a whole pine-apple in a deep soup 
plate; they had been peeled, and so tender 
were they that we only had to use a fork in 
taking them apart (they are never cut in 
slices). They were very cold and perfectly 
I delicious, so juicy that we had a plate full 
of this cool and most refreshing liquid, sweet 



80 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

enough not to need sugar. The fruit is en- 
tirely different from what it is when picked 
green and ripened en route, 

2d day. 
Last night, as we were passing through 
one of the dark passages of the hotel, we 
saw approaching us a lady with the most 
beautiful ornament, in her hair, of emeralds; 
they were very brilliant, most unusually so! 
We were desirous to see them in the light, 
so we followed her into the drawing-room, 
but great was our surprise, on entering the 
lighted room, to find that she had nothing 
in her hair, which was very black. We won- 
dered what was the matter with our eyes! 
Had we been dreaming? We were so close 
to her that, had she taken off the ornament, 
we must have seen her. We had become so 
interested in her that we watched her until 
she went out on the balcony where there was 
no light. To our astonishment the emeralds 
re-appeared in her hair, and were even more 
brilliant than when we had first seen them. 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 81 

While we were in this bewildered state of 
mind, a friend joined us, who had been liv- 
ing for some time in Havana, and we ap- 
pealed to him for an explanation. With 
great amusement he told us it was a beetle, a 
large edition of our fire-fly, that in the dark 
gives out a brilliant light which is green like 
an emerald. The ladies wear them in a fine 
black net, which is pinned into their black 
hair, and the beetle, being black, does not 
show — even in a strong light. 

A week later, 

I We have been reveling in the luxury of 

( shopping. James has given us carte blanche 

\ to replenish our wardrobes; the many ex- 

; quisite thin materials that they have here are 

very tempting, as they make lovely dresses. 

So our days have been spent at dressmakers' 

and lingerie shops. Some of the party had 

only the dresses they wore ashore ; the Custom 

House officers were amazed at the emptiness 

of our trunks, and at our general appearance 

as well. However amused they may have been, 



82 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

with the good manners of the Spanish they 
were too polite to let us see it. It has been 
a great pleasure to find here our old friend 
General William Preston, whom we have 
known for years; he is a very distinguished 
man, having held with great honor many 
official positions, and was representing this 
country at the Court of Spain when the war 
broke out, when he resigned and entered the 
diplomatic service of the Confederacy. With 
him on his staff is Captain Walter Fane. 
The General called his attention to us, when 
we entered the dining-room just after our 
arrival, and possessing a keen sense of humor, 
our forlorn appearance was too much for him, 
and he made most unmerciful fun of us to the 
amusement of everyone at his table. My 
daughter, it seems, was the one who most 
attracted his attention, and called forth his 
severest criticism. I am afraid the poor dear 
child did look rather ungainly and awkward, 
as her only dress was made of a material 
that the sea air caused to shrink several 
inches, bringing it up to her shoe-tops. She 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 83 

is an overgrown child, in size a woman, but 
in all other ways so like a child with her 
lovely, sweet, innocent face that I rather re- 
sented his laughing at her and told General 
Preston so. He consoled me by saying, 
" Just wait till she gets some nev/ clothes 
, in which she will look so lovely that Walter 
Fane will be down on his knees to her." The 
General was right; the beautiful new clothes 
have made a wonderful difference. No more 
laughing remarks are made, the young men 
I are only too eager to be presented, and no 
\ one more so than Walter Fane. We are be- 
'i ing tremendously feted, invitations of all 
kinds are received. While I rarely ever go 
I anywhere, I let Belle take Clarice. Last 
night we went to the Opera to hear Lucia, 
which was a great treat, as it has been so 
long since we have heard any good music. 
The Opera was well given, and the house very 
attractive with the open boxes like the Opera 
I house in New Orleans, showing off to great 
advantage the toilets of the handsome women. 
Belle created quite a sensation; I never saw 



84 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

her look handsomer and more fascinating ; she 
had no end of admirers. Clarice was also 
very lovely in her white dress, unconscious 
that she was the object of much admiration, 
and no one was more devoted to her than 
Walter Fane. 

We have been here three weeks, of which 
we have enjoyed every moment, although it 
is very hot. Like all Southerners we never 
go out in the middle of the day, but take 
advantage of the freshness of the early morn- 
ing, going out again after sunset. I can 
see that James is becoming very impatient 
to get us away, as there is a rumor that 
there is yellow fever in the hotel; we know 
there is a great deal of it in the city. I 
am not afraid of it for mj^self, but I am 
anxious on account of Clarice. We are 
awaiting the arrival of a coasting steamer, 
that is expected here any day going directly 
to Liverpool, so we are hoping to get away 
very soon. 




CLARICE 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 85 

AUGUST 1st. 

The steamer has arrived and we go on 
board to-morrow; we hear the most awful 
accounts of her condition, that she is very 
dirty. James sent his valet and my maid 
to clean our cabins, and to make a list of 
, what will be needed to make us more com- 
fortable. We are going to take a large quan- 
tity of fruit and fresh vegetables, also barrels 
of ice, as they have none on board. From 
' all accounts we shall have very poor food. 
j Our friends predict the most terrible things 
' for us, as the steamer has been for weeks 
' putting in at all the ports on the coast and 
( islands, without stopping for repairs or gen- 
j( eral cleaning, but we cannot help ourselves; 
we must leave here and take our chances, for 
I have known since yesterday that there are 
cases of yellow fever in the hotel. 

ON BOARD S. S. " ST. THOMAS." 

A week later. 
Nothing we heard about this ship was in any 
way exaggerated. Her condition is too awful ! ! ! 



86 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

dirty in every way. It was not a matter of one 
day, but many days, before Jack and my maid 
could clean our cabins so that we could sleep 
in them. We have all slept on deck; the mat- 
tresses or hammocks are brought up after 
dark, and we do not go to the cabins in the 
morning until we are driven down by the 
sailors, who, I am glad to say, do wash the 
decks. Some of the crew have died and been 
buried at sea. It seems that at the last port 
where the ship stopped to coal there was prevail- 
ing an epidemic of the v/orst type of tropical 
fever, which is generally fatal; not only num- 
bers of the crew, but some of the steerage 
passengers have died of it. All danger of 
contagion will not be over for ten days, in- 
deed we shall not feel free from anxiety until 
we get into the Atlantic, and sufficiently far 
ISTorth to have cold weather. Nothing could 
be worse than the food; fortunately we have 
the fruit, vegetables, and barrels of ice that 
James had put on board ; also a friend of ours 
had all the life boats filled with fruit and 
provisions of all kinds that could be bought 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 87 

in Havana to add to our comfort; without 
these we should be in a very bad way. 

One rather amusing thing happened the 
day we sailed. One of Clarice's friends asked 
her what she would like to have on the voy- 
age. She replied, " Something to read." 
; " Very well, I will see that you have plenty 
of books," he added. After we had sailed 
her father asked her what was in the very 
; large box addressed to her. She opened it, 
' and great was her surprise to find two dozen 
I most beautiful and very costly books ; but still 
greater was her astonishment to see her father 
I on reading the titles throw one after the other 
j into the sea. Her friend was evidently not 
\ a scholar, and had simply given the book- 
l seller an order for twenty-four of the most 
expensive and handsomely bound books he 
j had, regardless of the character or title of 
I them. Poor child! she was heart-broken to 
I have all her beautiful books (at least in ap- 
j pearance) thrown into the sea. 

I have not been able to write for many 
days, as after we got out of the Gulf of 



88 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

Mexico into the Atlantic, we have had ter- 
rible weather, very rough seas, and high 
winds with constant rains. The necessity of 
sleeping in our cabins has been dreadful, we 
slept on deck even when it rained and was 
most disagreeable; anything seemed prefer- 
able to going down into our stuffy, bad- 
smelling cabins; but when it got very rough 
the Captain refused to allow us to remain 
above as he thought it was not safe. 

It is two weeks to-day since we sailed, and 
if all goes well we may reach England in 
ten days; we are tremendously relieved that 
all danger of taking the fever is over ; in fact, 
we are all in better health than when we 
sailed, particularly since we have had cooler 
weather. 

Our dear friend General Preston is with 
us, he is the life of the party, as he is always 
in a good humor and full of fun; there are 
also Captain Scott from Mobile, and Mr. and 
Mrs. Goldenell, an American married to an 
Englishwoman, both of whom are very agree- 
able and pleasant traveling companions, and 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 89 

one or two other passengers. It is very for- 
tunate that there are not many on board, as 
the steamer has a hmited number of cabins, 
and the provisions, bad as they are, are get- 
ting very low ; each day we are reduced to one 
dish less. They tell us that if we do not reach 
England within a few days, we shall indeed 
be reduced to very slim rations. We have 
exhausted our supply of vegetables, fruit, 
and all other provisions, and what our good 
friend had put in the life boats for us was 
I forgotten the first storm we encountered, and 
I until hours afterwards when it was thought 
of, but it had by that time been completely 
(spoilt, as these boats are not covered. 

SEPTEMBER 3RD. 

Land is in sight, and none too soon, for we 
jhave heard rumors for the last ten days that 

the ship is not in a seaworthy condition. 
jLast night she sprung a leak, and all hands 

worked at the pumps during the night. 

There was no immediate danger, as we had a 

perfectly smooth sea and clear weather, but 



90 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

there seems to be very little doubt in the 
minds of the men that if we had encountered 
a storm during the last days, the ship would 
have foundered, and nothing could have 
saved us. It is with feelings of great grati- 
tude and rejoicing that we see the land 
and know that we are in reach of help if 
needed, and that we shall soon be on shore. 
We are destined to experience what short 
rations mean on ship-board as well as when 
traveling across the wilds of Texas, for our 
food has been portioned out to us in small 
quantities these last ten daj^s. We have com- 
plained less than the other passengers, owing 
to our former discipline in this respect and 
have made rather a joke of it, laughing un- 
mercifully at the complaints and grumblings 
of the others, to their indignation. 



VII 

LIYERPOOL. 

Once more safely on shore, and to our 
great joy and surprise our son Charles, with 
his very pretty and attractive young wife, 
met us on our arrival. My nieces, who are 
to me as though they were my children, are 
here also, so it is like a home-coming for us 
poor weary travelers. With our English an- 
cestors and traditions, England must be to 
those coming from the Southern States like 
the mother country: apart from this, we feel 
that in their hearts the English people sym- 
pathize with us in our struggle for freedom, 
and would like to have us succeed, even if 
they do not openly declare so. 

We are comfortably settled in lodgings such 
as you find only in England, where you have 
all the comforts and privacy of home, with- 
out the responsibilities. The landlady prob- 

91 



92 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

ably has lived for years with one of the great 
families, and is an excellent cook. She mar- 
ried the butler, and they set up an establish- 
ment for themselves. It all seems very peace- 
ful and delightful, making us feel as though 
we had, indeed, reached a safe harbor after 
so much traveling, and the many hardships, 
dangers, and difficulties that we have had to 
endure. 

Dear old England, ho\v^ I love it! with its 
centuries of civilization and traditions, mak- 
ing every place one of great historical inter- 
est. How little one can appreciate the Eng- 
lish people until you have visited, and learned 
to know them, in their comfortable and beau- 
tiful homes. It is there that you see the 
English gentleman at his best, and on his j 
country estates he is always a most cordial 
and charming host. The Englishwoman, who 
is generally shy, and more reserved than we 
are, becomes gracious, and does the honors 
of her home with great simplicity and charm. 
This well-regulated and delightful life is a 
great contrast to what it is in a new country, 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 93 

where much is crude and often ahnost bar- 
barous, with its vulgar money estimate of 
everything. I am afraid my husband is right 
when he calls me a born aristocrat. I can- 
not help it! I love the refinement and well- 
established customs of old countries, with the 
well-regulated routine of domestic life such as 
I exists here. 

Some weeks later. 

In Paris, 

After a most delightful visit to Leaming- 
ton, where we went to attend the wedding 
I of my cousin, who married Dr. How^ of Balti- 
more, wx spent a few days at Stratford-on- 
Avon, and saw all that was interesting there, 
and also Warwick. We have had a most 
enjoyable trip, and w^re very loath to leave 
England. It was necessary, however, for us 
to come here, as my husband wishes to see us 
settled for the winter, and find a school for 
Clarice before he leaves to return to Mexico, 
where he has large interests. 

We are indulging in the great pleasure 



94. DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

that all women feel, when they can shop in 
Paris. The things we bought in Havana are 
not suitable for the winter climate here, and 
they do not seem to us quite so wonderfully 
beautiful as they did when we bought them. 
I think we are becoming more fastidious and 
difficult to please than we were on reaching 
Havana. 

PARIS, 

OCTOBER. 

Beautiful, fascinating Paris ! But with all its 
brightness and the splendor that exists under 
the third Empire, it does not appeal to me; 
my heart goes back to England. However, 
I know that I must stay here for the winter 
on account of Clarice. We are looking for 
an apartment ; while we have seen many, none 
of them are suitable, so few are even clean, 
and as yet we have not seen one with a bath- 
room. 

A curious thing happened last night while 
we were at the theater, just before the close 
of the piece. During the last act we noticed 




m 
w 

H 

Pi 
W 
Q 

< 

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Pi 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 95 

a man who had been for some time looking 
steadily at our box through his opera-glass, 
but as he stood in a passage where there was 
very little light, this prevented us from see- 
ing his face. On coming out we thought we 
saw in the crowd our friend the French offi- 
cer of Matamoras. It seemed so unlikely 
that we dismissed the idea as being improb- 
able. In the course of a few days we found 
out that we were not mistaken, as he was the 
man who had been looking so long at Belle, 
and followed us to our hotel. The next day 
he came to the hotel and bribed Jack (my 
husband's valet) to tell him our plans; on 
hearing that we were looking for an apart- 
ment, he gave Jack the address of one, and 
told him to be sure and have us go to look 
at it. When he went home to his mother, he 
informed her that an American family were 
coming to look at the apartment that she 
wanted to let, and that she must allow them 
to have it on their own terms as it meant 
everything to him and his future happiness. 
This apartment was a part of a large and 



96 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

very handsome private house of a French 
lady of high rank and wealth. It was not 
only beautiful, and very handsomely fur- 
nished, but it was perfect in all of its ap- 
pointments, as it had been furnished for her 
only daughter at the time of her marriage. 
The son-in-law having recently received a 
foreign appointment, she was left alone in this 
enormous house with her bachelor son, and as 
he was in the army, he was frequently away 
for long intervals. The dear old lady, with 
the usual French thought of economy, had 
the idea that if she could find some desirable 
people who would be congenial to her, she 
would be willing to rent this part of her 
house. Her son impressed upon her that it 
was most important for her not to give her 
real name to these Americans that were com- 
ing until they had decided to take the apart- 
ment, and it became necessary to do so. 
When we called to look at the apartment the 
next day, Count de Sombreuil having told his 
mother that we were very wealthy, she had at 
once the thought of a possible rich American 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 97 

daughter-in-law, so she did not hesitate to 
make such terms as would be acceptable to us. 

Of course we were more than pleased with 
the spacious and beautiful apartment on the 
ground floor, the large salon opened out onto 
a most lovely garden where there was a foun- 
tain, and great profusion of flowers, servants 
in handsome livery and every appearance of 
great wealth. We were simply amazed when 
told the price of it, and all that we should 
have, even the use of one of the old lady's 
carriages and horses, also twice a week seats in 
her box at the Opera. 

We thought it much too good a bargain to 
miss, so James said he would not take it for 
less than a year. The old lady agreed most 
willingly to let us have it for any length of 
time that we should want it. The next day 
we moved in, and great was our surprise on 
looking out into the garden to see our friend 
the French officer walking with the old lady 
as though it was his home. In the afternoon 
he sent to ask permission to call on us, and 
explained that the lady was his mother, the 



98 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

Countess de Sombreuil. As the French 
Army had been withdrawn from Mexico he 
was able to leave almost immediately after 
we left, but he could not reach Bagdad in 
time to sail with us. Clarice, with a child's 
frankness, said to him, "Oh! Count, I hope 
you did not get very wet when the water 
poured down on the musicians at the time of 
the serenade." He laughed heartily and re- 
plied, *' My dear young friend, I had left be- 
fore it happened," which confirmed what we 
had heard. 

NOVEMBER. 

We have been in our luxurious quarters 
just a month; nothing could exceed the kind- 
ness and generosity of the dear old Countess, 
and the devotion and many kind acts of the 
Count. The Countess sends in every morn- 
ing to know what hour we should like to have 
the carriage, and Belle has been several times 
to the Opera with her. 

I have found an excellent school in the 
neighborhood for Clarice, where she boards 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 99 

during the week; but spends Saturday and 

Sunday with us. Madame Hoffman, who is 

at the head of the school, came to see me in 

a great state of excitement, as she said that 

while walking in the Bois with the girls of 

the school, the Emperor, seeing Clarice, was 

, so struck with her beauty that he sent one 

' of his aide-de-camps to inquire of the teacher 

(who was in charge of the girls) the name 

and address of the young girl. Madame 

: Hoffman is very unhappy about it, but I 

I cannot imagine that anything serious will 

{ come of it; the Emperor has probably for- 

\ gotten all about her — she is such a child! 

I 

A few days later, 

; I have been very much upset by receiving 

an invitation to be present with my daughter 

j at the next reception to be given at the 

I Palace of the Tuileries. I have declined to 

I go on account of my deep mourning, and 

I refused for Clarice on the score of her being 

too young. Since my refusal to attend the 

reception at the Palace of the Tuileries, the 



100 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

Emperor has had Clarice asked to a small 
entertainment for young people, to be given 
at the Palace of one of the Court officials, 
and it is known that he intends to be present. 
After consulting friends as to what I should 
do, they advise me to take her away from 
Paris for the present, as the admiration of 
the Emperor is something for a young girl to 
avoid rather than seek, so I am going to take 
Clarice to London for a few wrecks; it is very 
annoying, as it takes her away from her 
studies. 

A month later. 

I remained away only ten days, as I really 
had to bring Clarice back to her studies. I 
shall simply not allow her to go where there 
is any chance of the Emperor seeing her 
again. 

All Paris is going mad over the beautiful 
young Swedish prima donna, Christine Nils- 
son. Clarice came home a few days ago 
very much excited, as the evening before 
Christine had dined with the girls at the 




NAPOLEON III 
From a painting/ by H. Flandrin 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 101 

school; she was visiting the daughter of the 
Swedish Minister, who is there as one of the 
scholars. According to the rules of the school, 
when a visitor dines with the girls, she is 
allowed to select one of them to be her 
hostess, besides the one whose guest she is. 
The girl selected is to be the hostess of the 
evening, and must fill that role by making 
herself agreeable, and graciously doing the 
honors of the occasion. 

The girls were all standing in their places 
when Christine entered the dining-room, each 
one eagerly hoping in her heart to be the 
chosen one. After looking up and down the 
line of girls with their eager faces, she walked 
up to Clarice and said: "You fair young 
creature, I want you." This was the begin- 
ning of a strong friendship between the two 
that bids fair to last for a long time. As 
great a pleasure as this friendship is to 
Clarice, I think I have even more pleasure 
from it, as Christine is very sweet and kind 
in coming to sing; whenever she has the spare 
time, she very generously gives me the bene- 



102 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

fit of it, and it is a rare treat, for I am a great 
lover of music, and being in mourning I do 
not go to the Opera. Apart from her voice, 
she has a charming personality, with great 
beauty; her coloring is wonderful, her hair 
very golden, large blue eyes, and the fair skin 
that usually goes with such hair and eyes. 
She is very simple, and has a lovely nature, 
spontaneous and like a child. She radiates 
sunshine and happiness on all who come in 
contact with her. I am very grateful to her 
for the brightness and cheer that she has 
brought into my sad life, and the great en- 
joyment that I have had from her music. 
She has not been singing very long in Opera, 
as she has only recently made her debut in 
" La Traviata," when she sent Clarice a box 
to hear her. They tell me the child was so 
excited that it was all they could do to keep 
her from falling out of the box. 

Our colony of Americans from the South- 
ern States is not a large one, but we are 
drawn all the closer together, in our anxiety 
and sorrow regarding the sad events that are 




CHRISTINE NILSSON 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 103 

taking place in our section of the country. 
What we hear in regard to the treatment of 
the prisoners on Johnson's Island, makes us 
very anxious about Richard. We are hoping 
daily to hear that he has been exchanged; we 
have written begging him to apply at once 
for leave so that he may join us, for I am 
sure that he must be suffering from the 
effects of his long imprisonment, now nearly 
twenty months; for one who is not very 
strong, the long confinement and lack of 
I proper food must have had serious effect upon 
} him. 

I It is Belle who brightens our lives and fills 

I them with interest; her great charm and per- 

[ sonal fascination draw around her a most in- 

I teresting and clever set of people of all na- 

I tionalities. In her salon are met men of fame, 

j statesmen, diplomatists, high officials of the 

I Court and Government; they meet there to 

discuss the important political and current 

events of the day; she is the brilliant center 

of all with her quick wit and marvelous gift 

of language. The occasional opportunities 



104 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

given to Clarice, when she is at home on Sat- 
urday and Sunday, to meet these distinguished 
men and scholars, who are making the history 
of the day, is greatly appreciated and enjoyed 
by her. I hope that it may prove a liberal 
education for her, and cultivate in her an in- 
terest in higher and more serious subjects 
than young girls of her age usually care 
for, the influence of which she will feel all 
throughout her life. It is very easy to enter- 
tain in these handsome and attractive rooms, 
with the generous assistance of the Countess, 
who not only fills them with the greatest 
variety of beautiful plants and flowers from 
her conservatory, but insists upon our having 
all of her men servants in their gorgeous 
livery. This makes a great impression upon 
our Southern friends. One of our naval offi- 
cers came the other night, and seeing this evi- 
dence of great wealth and the beautiful sur- 
roundings, when one of the men offered to 
help him with his coat, said : " Xo, I have 
made a mistake, this cannot be where my 
friends are living; we Southerners cannot 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 105 

afford to live like this." But on the assurance 
of the servant that we did live there, he came 
in, and was shown into my sitting-room, 
where I receive a few of my personal friends, 
as I never go into the large salon on these 
occasions. I could not help but be amused 
at his evident disapproval of our surround- 
ings and way of living; he took it so seriously 
that I had to explain to him how it all hap- 
pened. 

SPRING OF 1865. 
The winter is over and the spring has come 
with all of its glorious beauty; nowhere could 
it be more wonderful than in Paris, all the 
broad streets have such splendid avenues of 
trees, I believe that no city in the world can 
boast of so many. I have heard the number 
estimated as high as four hundred thousand, 
making a veritable forest. Then Paris with 
all its attractions has, in addition, many en- 
chanting and interesting places nearby that 
one can reach in a short time, and there spend 
a most delightful day; such are St. Cloud, 



106 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

Versailles, St. Germain, where not only is 
the country beautiful, but there is so much 
that is historically interesting to see. To me 
the Bois is an endless source of amusement. 
What could be more enchanting than it is, 
with its wealth of flowers and avenues of 
acacia (when in bloom) , and beneath them long 
lines of carriages of all kinds are ever pass- 
ing; those of the Court with their glittering 
horses and outriders, also those of the French 
beauties in their marvelous toilets, and com- 
bined with the varied and bright uniforms of 
the officers, they make a brilliant and ever- 
changing throng of people to watch. But of 
all this splendid pageant the person who in- 
terests me most is the Empress Eugenie. I 
always feel a thrill when I see her, for she 
is really most beautiful — graceful, and with 
something , about her that is intensely sym- 
pathetic. The sweet smile with which she 
always greets the people as she passes by, 
never fails to fascinate those who come under 
her spell. She is one of those rare persons 
who is beautiful under all circumstances ; with 




THE EMPRESS EUGENIE 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 107 

her marvelously perfect figure, and being a 
remarkably good rider, she is simply stunning 
on horseback. At night in ball dress, with 
her wonderful coloring, she is a vision of 
loveliness. Then she moves with that ease 
and grace peculiar to the Spanish race; no 
nation possesses it quite to the same degree. 
One of the many stories that they tell of her 
is, that on the occasion of a great fete at St. 
Cloud, before the Emperor had asked her to 
marry him, she was present wearing a won- 
derful Parisian creation of lace and muslin, 
such as only they can make, and in it she 
looked her loveliest. While leaning over to 
peer into a basin of water surrounding one of 
the great fountains, she lost her balance and 
fell in. The Emperor came to her rescue. 
According to the story, she was thoroughly 
drenched and, her garments being of very thin 
and transparent material, clung to her in such 
a way as to show to great advantage the out- 
lines of her faultless figure. If the Emperor 
had any doubt in his mind about asking her 
hand in marriage this removed it, for the fol- 



108 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

lowing day the engagement was announced. 
There are such conflicting accounts about her, 
she has her ardent admirers and devoted fol- 
lowers, and from these you hear nothing but 
what is in her praise — they tell you that she is 
most charitable, kind, and good. Being my- 
self one of her greatest admirers I prefer to 
believe all the good that I hear of her, and 
will not listen to any other account of her. 

We hear from America there is a rumor 
that the prisoners of Johnson's Island are 
going to be exchanged. God grant that it 
may be so, and that when free, Richard may 
be given a leave of absence and join us here; 
this anxiety, and not being able to hear from 
him, is terrible. 

A month later, 
Not our hopes, but our worst fears are real- 
ized. It is a sad story to relate; until to-day 
I could not write it, but perhaps it may help 
me if I do so. General Grant did what he could 
for our brave boy, he sent an order that when 
the prisoners were released, instead of Rich- 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 109 

ard going up to be exchanged with the other 
prisoners from Johnson's Island, he was to 
be brought to him; but by some misunder- 
standing of the order, Richard was allowed 
to go with the others. He heard those ahead 
of him have their names called, and as each 
responded he was detailed for exchange ; when 
his name came and he answered, a Federal 
officer touched him on the shoulder and 
said, " No, you come with me." Poor dear 
boy! fearing that he was going to be taken 
back to prison again, he fainted; owing to his 
weak condition from the want of proper food, 
I and the long confinement, he had not the 
I strength to bear the disappointment and 
\ shock that it gave him. It was some time 
^ before he recovered consciousness, and when 
{ he did, great was his astonishment to find 
j himself in General Grant's tent. He kept 
i Richard with him for several days until he 
I was stronger and had recovered from the ef- 
fects of the shock that he had received. Gen- 
eral Grant did all that he could for him; 
realizing his weak condition^ and knowing 



110 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

how we longed to see him, he begged Richard 
to come to Europe on parole, offering to be 
responsible for him and to give him his parole 
until the end of the war. General Grant 
knew only too well that our army could not 
hold out much longer against the hordes of 
Germans and other nationalities that were be- 
ing enlisted in the Northern army in large 
numbers, too great for our reduced army to 
fight against. With the blockade of our 
ports, and no outside help possible, boys of 
fifteen and younger taking the place of the 
older men as they fell, it meant that the end 
was not far off, when we must lay down our 
arms and accept the inevitable consequences of 
defeat. The more the General tried to im- 
press these conditions upon my brave boy, 
the more keenly he felt that his duty was to 
join his comrades; it was not a moment when 
he could desert the cause of his country in 
its death struggle, when every man counted 
for so much. He said, " Oh! no. General, I 
must go, and with my brave companions 
defend our cause to the end. Greatly 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 111 

tempted as I am to accept your generous 
offer and join my poor father and mother, 
knowing how they have suffered and that they 
need all the consolation which I might be 
able to give them, my sense of duty to the 
cause I have espoused makes it impossible 
for me, while I fully appreciate what you 
have offered to do for me, to accept it. Re- 
member, we are of the same blood. Would 
you do differently if you were in my place? " 
" No," he rephed. " Then, I beg of you," 
said Richard, " have me exchanged." But 
f the General sent him under a flag of truce to 
• Richmond. Only a few days after reaching 
there, before he received his appointment, he 
was taken ill with pneumonia. In his weak 
condition there was no hope of his recovery 
from the first. He was fortunately staying 
in the house of a dear friend. Miss S. L. 
Bayne, who nursed him with the greatest de- 
votion all during his illness. With him also 
was Joe Denegre of New Orleans, a very 
dear comrade and friend of his, one with 
whom he had been closely associated from the 



112 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

beginning of the war until he was taken 
prisoner. It was in his arms that Richard 
passed away. 

I have many letters about him, the one 
from General Grant expresses great sym- 
pathy for us, and admiration of Richard's 
courage and high sense of honor. Much as 
he wanted him for my sake to accept the 
parole and urged him to do so, he was glad 
he refused, and he loved the boy for faith- 
fully fulfilling his duty to the cause he had so 
much at heart. 

What a sad little colony we are! with the 
continual succession of bad news telling of 
one disaster after another until we are in 
despair. Apart from my own overwhelming 
sorrows are those that we all suffer together 
in our great anxiety in regard to the fate 
of our loved ones who are struggling in vain 
against such fearful odds. How much longer 
can they hold out is the question we ask each 
other, but the answer is read in the sad faces 
around us, for we all know in our hearts that 
the end is near. 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 113 

A few days later. 
All hope is over! Richmond fell on the 
3d of April, and Lee surrendered on the 
9th, six days afterwards, so this dreadful 
war is over!!! What a useless sacrifice of 
life it has been, what untold suffering it has 
brought to the thousands of broken-hearted 
mothers and wives! to say nothing of the 
ruined homes and desolation of a once rich 
and productive part of the country. 

General Grant in his treatment of General 
Lee when he surrendered was worthy of the 
big-hearted and just man that he is; the ut- 
terance of those simple but ever-touching 
words, " Let us have peace," ought to make 
him dear to all Americans, North and South. 
It will take time to enable us to adjust our- 
selves to the inevitable, and the process of re- 
construction of the States, I fear, will be long 
and tedious. It will be in the hands of such 
just men as President Lincoln and General 
Grant that we must trust our fate. In the 
agony of our own sorrows, every heart goes 
out in love and sympathy for our noble and 



114^ DIARY OF A REFUGEE ^ 

great hero General Lee. Never was a man 
so dear to the hearts of his people, adored 
by his troops, who willingly laid down their 
lives at his feet. In his hour of misfortune 
he will rise to greater heights than those who 
are victorious, his word is law for us, we ac- 
cept his surrender as the noblest proof of his 
greatness and unselfish love for his poor, half- 
clothed, starving little band of heroes, who be- 
came such from his brave example, and were 
loyal to him to the last hour. 

A few days later. 
Our sorrows and misfortunes are never to 
cease. I can see only dark, terrible days 
ahead of us in consequence of the awful 
assassination of President Lincoln. Coming 
at this time it is the greatest misfortune, and 
will be more disastrous in its effect upon the 
South than anything that could have hap- 
pened. What a madman Booth was not to 
realize this! and it is terrible to think of the 
many innocent people that are going to be 
made to suffer in consequence of his mad and 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 115 

unjustifiable act. This awful crime cannot 
be wiped out by the hanging of Booth only, 
I fear others will be made to pay very dearly 
for it; if not with their lives, it will be in 
other ways of suffering and humiliation. I 
am sure that all just and fair-minded South- 
erners feel that. Had Lincoln lived, aided by 
the conciliatory policy of General Grant, the 
reconstruction of the States could have been 
brought about with less difficulty, and on far 
better terms and conditions for us than can 
be hoped for now. The bad feeling that 
President Lincoln's assassination will arouse 
• against us throughout the North will make 
them want to show us little mercy, and 
greatly complicate the settlement of the diffi- 
cult questions that we must all face. God 
help us! 

Then the emancipation of the slaves. How 
is that going to be dealt with? We who 
I know them, and have learned to love them 
I and care for them since we were children, can- 
not foresee what their freedom will bring to 
them. While I rejoice that they have it, I 



116 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

pity them, for they are in no way prepared 
for it. I cannot help but fear terrible condi- 
tions for those who will have to depend upon 
negro labor for the cultivation of their fields. 
I have faith in the older ones taking it sen- 
sibly, and remaining in most cases faithful in 
their allegiance to their owners, from force of 
habit as well as sentiment, for they have a 
strong sense of attachment; it is the younger 
generation that will be demoralized and cor- 
rupted by it. If the suggestion made during 
the War by some of the largest slave-owners 
in the South had been accepted, and adopted, 
it would have been better. These wise men 
were in favor of arming the negroes, putting 
them in the Southern army, and at the same 
time giving them their freedom. If it could 
have been done it might have changed the 
conditions of the war, for I have not the 
slightest doubt but that they would have 
fought bravely under the command of their 
masters; not in a single instance have I heard 
of their failing to do so, when they have been 
in a battle with their young masters. Often 




S 

3 

H 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 117 

have they been known to run great risks, and 
shown great bravery in their efforts to save 
their masters when they have been wounded 
on the battlefield. I wish that they could 
have been in some way educated or pre- 
pared for freedom, before it was so suddenly 
, thrust upon them. The North has assumed 
' a tremendous responsibility; I hope that they 
will prove themselves equal to it, and treat 
this race of people with a firm, just, and 
' discriminating policy; otherwise they will be- 
I come an evil and menace to the welfare of 
I the country. 

I I cannot help but wonder what our slaves 
will do when told that they are free. I am 
I sure that they will all want to go back to the 
' plantation, for they hate Texas and long to 
return to the sugar-cane and warmth of 
Louisiana. James has written to the over- 
seer to give them the necessary money to take 
them back if they wish to go. 



118 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

Several months later. 
The conditions in our part of the country 
are still very unsettled, the events of the last 
months indicate clearly that the reconstruction 
is going to be a long, tedious, and trying 
time for the Southern States. We begin 
to feel that we must go back, but it will be 
a sad home-coming, without a home to go to. 
The family circle is broken by the death of 
our boys, and many dear old friends will be 
missing. Then we are uncertain as to 
whether we shall be able to save enough from 
the wreck of our fortune to enable us to live 
even in a very modest way. It is hard for 
my husband after a long life of success in 
everything that he has ever undertaken, now 
in his old age to have the wealth representing 
years of hard and successful work swept 
away, through no fault of his own. He is 
wonderfully brave and plucky about it, and is 
anxious to go back and begin to rebuild his 
fortune. But I see a great change in him 
since Richard's death. I have my doubts 
about his strength and health enabling him 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 119 

to do much more. The spirit is wiUing, but 
the poor heart has suffered so much anxiety 
and sorrow during those terrible four years 
that I fear it has reached its Umit. 

OCTOBER, 1865. 
The romance commenced in Matamoras, re- 
sumed in Paris under rather extraordinary 
circumstances, has ended in a marriage, which 
I have reason to hope will be for the hap- 
piness of both Belie and the Count. The 
wedding was a very small one, owing to our 
deep mourning, but all our little colony was 
present, as it was the last time we shall see 
our friends. We bid them farewell; to- 
morrow we leave Paris for Liverpool, and 
shall sail from there to New York. Count 
de Sombreuil has endeared himself to us in 
many ways. He has never failed in his devo- 
tion and sympathy for us during the trying 
times that we have passed through while liv- 
ing in his mother's house. The dear old 
Countess, too, has been the same, full of sym- 
pathy and kindness, ever ready to do any- 



120 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

thing that she could for us. I am glad that 
she is so delighted with the marriage. As 
the Count is leaving the army, she no longer 
dreads the possibility of being left alone in 
this beautiful home, for it is understood that 
her son and his wife are to live with her. I 
wonder if I shall have the courage to resume 
my diary when I reach New Orleans. Will 
it be to record painful experiences, or will 
the conditions be better than they promise at 
present? However, I shall write no more 
until I get there. 

I bi(l farewell to you, my constant little com- 
panion, and close your pages with regret, for 
you have been a great help and consolation to 
me, during these years of sorrow and many 
trials. 



VIII 

My dear little Companion, 

When I closed you in Paris, I hardly ex- 
pected to confide in you so soon again, but the 
habit has grown upon me, and now I can- 
not resist writing up my experiences of these 
last few months. They have seemed so un- 
natural and strange that it is hard to adjust 
myself to the new conditions of our life. 

I must go back and take up the threads of 
my story, a few months before the close of 
the War. Clarice, who seemed to us such a 
child, but to others appeared considerably 
older than her years, had two very devoted 
lovers, one of whom was Walter Fane, a 
man of unusual intellectual and scholarly 
gifts, well fitted for the high diplomatic 
position that he held, and to whose presence 
with us while in Havana I have already 
referred. 

He followed us to Paris, and though much 
older than my child, her father, who greatly 

131 



123 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

admired Captain Fane, felt that her happi- 
ness and welfare would be secure in his 
keeping. 

The second suitor was Captain Scott, who 
was also abroad on an important diplomatic 
mission. 

From Paris we had gone to Liverpool, 
where we received a letter from Walter Fane 
imploring us to await his arrival there. He 
expected to join us in three weeks' time, as 
he was sailing at once from Havana for 
England. 

We waited impatiently and fearfully for 
three long months. Finally all hope of see- 
ing him was abandoned, and the agents of the 
line could only believe that the steamer must 
have gone down in mid-ocean, as no trace of 
her could be obtained. 

We then decided to sail for home on Sun- 
day by the steamer " Arabia," when lo, and 
behold, who should walk in upon us three 
days earlier, but Walter Fane, coming as one 
from the dead, so amazed were we to see him. 

The steamer on which he had sailed from 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 123 

Havana had had an accident to her machinery, 
and had to resort to her sails only to be be- 
calmed and drift about the Gulf of Mexico 
for six weeks! Finally they managed to hail 
a passing steamer, the passengers were 
transferred and enabled to continue their 
journey to England. The disabled steamer 
was subsequently towed to the nearest port. 
This accounted for Walter Fane's three 
months' disappearance from the world. 

Though my husband's preference was un- 
doubtedly for Captain Fane, he realized that 
Clarice's extreme youth necessitated the con- 
tinuance of her studies for another year or 
two, and therefore on his return to Mexico 
he exacted, before leaving, a promise that 
she would not, during his absence, accept any 
offer of marriage from either of her two ar- 
dent suitors. Captain Fane's proposal was 
not long delayed. On hearing the condition 
imposed upon us by my husband, he started 
post-haste in pursuit of James to Mexico. 
Shortly afterwards Captain Scott also de- 
clared his suit, and receiving the same in- 



124^ DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

formation, started with the same eagerness 
for Mexico. The night before he left, he 
called to say good-by, and finding Clarice 
alone, he pressed into her hand a tiny box, 
begging her to open it only when she should 
hear the door close behind him. He knew full 
well that I should never have allowed the 
child to accept its contents, had I seen them. 
Once out of the house, no return of his gift 
could be possible, as his intention was to leave 
by the night train for Liverpool and to sail 
from there early the next morning for Ha- 
vana. His little farewell present to my 
daughter was a ring containing a diamond of 
large size and of great value. 

When Captain Scott reached Havana on 
his way to Mexico, the first person whom he 
saw on entering the hotel was his friend Fane, 
who told him of his return from Matanzas. 
The meeting between the two friends, while a 
cordial one, was full of deep feeling and 
emotion for both men. Captain Scott real- 
ized that he must learn his fate from his 
rival, and that if Fane had won so he had 



"^Nl 




.M^L.^.^, 



THE WRITER OF THE DIARY 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 125 

lost; while Fane, knowing the strong and 
determined character of his friend, and what 
the loss of the girl he loved would mean to 
him, felt an intense sympathy and great sor- 
row for the pain that he must inflict in ac- 
knowledging his own engagement. 

What passed between the two friends when 
they parted in Havana has never been told. 
Captain Fane returned to England, while 
Captain Scott has seemed to drop out of the 
world. No one can tell us any news of him! 
Rumor says that he has joined the British 
Army, 

[Note by the Editor, — Seventeen years 
later, at a ball in New Orleans, whose setting 
was one of the beautiful and typical old 
Southern houses, a stranger among the guests 
was unconscious of the attention that con- 
centrated upon him as he wandered through 
the spacious rooms, indifferent, after a glance 
at many a noted beauty, and evidently search- 
ing until the evening was far spent for some- 
one whom he failed to find. Just as the 



126 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

guests were leaving, he suddenly came face 
to face with a tall, fair woman — and instinc- 
tively knew, though he saw her sad and wist- 
ful countenance for the first time, that she 
was the object of his quest. 

Eagerly he inquired her name, and on 
hearing it asked to be presented. After a few 
minutes' conversation he said : " I have a 
message for you, and I must speak with you 
alone." Much surprised the lady followed 
him to a remote corner of the conservatory, 
whereupon he spoke hurriedly as follows: 
" My message is from a dying man, who bids 
me tell you that he has loved you all these 
years. Send him some word in return that 
may comfort and sustain him in his last 
hours." 

He then went on to tell her of her old 
friend aad lover Captain Scott, who had won 
honors and distinctions for brave and gal- 
lant deeds on the battlefields of many cam- 
paigns. Always a most generous man, ever 
ready to help those in need, he had givtn 
away and distributed practically the whole 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 127 

of his large fortune, and was reduced to 
actual want himself without means of procur- 
ing any comforts or luxuries in his last ill- 
ness and hours of distress. 

This story brought to the lady's face an 
expression of great sorrow and pain. Evi- 
dently she was no indifferent friend of 
the poor gallant Captain Scott! On hear- 
ing finally of his poverty, a curious expres- 
sion of relief, almost of joy, lighted up her 
face, as if she divined a source from which 
help might come! Aloud, she thanked the 
stranger for his message and said that she 
had a souvenir which she would send his 
friend, one that would surely be of help and 
comfort. In her heart she thanked God that 
after all these years, atonement might be 
made for the suffering that she had inno- 
cently caused her hapless lover. The ring he 
had given her would prove like that of the 
Arabian Nights and bring ease and plenty to 
its possessor. 

Next day her hand held out to the depart- 
ing stranger the precious httle box that had 



us DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

been placed there seventeen years before, by 
the man who little dreamed what it was 
destined to bring into his life at its close. 
From its sale the poor invalid was surrounded 
with every possible luxury and comfort, his 
very life being prolonged for several months, 
and with a blessing and a loving farewell for 
the woman who had so benefited him, he died 
with her name on his lips.] 

As we had made all our plans to sail for 
home we could not alter them, even after 
Walter Fane's surprising re-appearance in 
our midst. He, however, decided to remain 
in England, as it was understood that a 
strong feeling prevailed against all those who 
had held diplomatic appointments under the 
Confederate Government. 

James was advised to enter New York 
under an assumed name: he might have been 
a ready mark for enmity, being so well known 
throughout the country, a Northern man who 
was also a Southern planter. 

The very reverse of our anticipations was 



vhat actually happened on reaching our na- 
ive shores. Clarice very thoughtlessly put 
n the top tray of her trunk a large bon- 
, )on box, from Paris, of white satin em- 
blazoned with two crossed Confederate flags. 
When the Customs Officer saw it, he looked 
quickly at the girl, who proclaimed with ready 
pride, "It is mine!" He replied, "Well, 
my young lady, it is fortunate for you that 
I am delegated to open your trunk. As it is 
you won't have trouble, for I happen to love 
the South," whereupon he quickly closed the 
M. 

STATEN ISLAND, NEW YORK, 

NOVEMBER, 1865. 

We were met on our arrival by James' 
cousin, David P. Morgan, who took us at 
once to his beautiful home on Staten Island, 
where we were most cordially welcomed by 
his dear and charming wife, who was a 
daughter of William Fellowes, an old friend 
of my husband and a man who was very 
prominent both socially and financially. 



130 DIARY OF A REFUGEE f . 

A short time after our return, James was 
advised by his Northern relatives and friends 
to go to Washington and take the oath of 
allegiance. This he did! 

We were very loath to leave David and 
his attractive wife and children; it was such 
a great pleasure to us who had been so long 
v/anderers and aliens, to revive old friend- 
ships, renew old associations, but alas! Our 
own home in New York City, where it would 
have been such a comfort to settle for our 
few remaining years of life, had been sold 
while we were refugees in Texas, needlessly 
sacrificed, as we now know, in our absence, 
by an ill-advised friend. My husband's 
friends are urging him to remain in the 
North, particularly dear David, who is very 
generously offering him most advantageous 
conditions if he will join him in business. 
But James feels that he must go South, and 
see what can be done with the wreck of his 
possessions there, with the responsibilities in- 
curred there and which he does not feel it 
right to shirk now that that section of the 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 131 

country is so distracted and distressed. What 
remains of our farm near Louisville he has 
given to our younger son Charles, but there 
is unfortunately only a Httle left of the dear 
old place, as it was used for the encamp- 
ment of Federal troops owing to its com- 
manding situation on the hills overlooking 
the Ohio River, three miles distant from 
Louisville. 

This farm was the first property that James 
had ever owned and was purchased in his 
early youth. It was known as Rock Hill, 
and here all our children were born, eleven, 
and only five have outhved infancy! We 
spent our summers here, the spring and fall 
in New York, the winters on the planta- 
tion, so that our life has always been full 
of movement and variety. V 

James is a wonderful traveler, but he 
strictly limits our wardrobes when we are en 
route from one part of the country to the 
other. We can have all the clothes we like, 
but we mustn't be loaded with trunks, so we 
usually leave a full trousseau in our bureaus 



132 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

and closets and find or purchase another on 
our arrival North or South. i 

I loved Rock Hill best of my three dwell- I 
ing-places. It really meant home to me and , 
to my husband, who took a boundless pride | 
in beautifying both house and park. The j 
latter was well stocked with deer, who were ' 
never killed, and in the course of many years 
they were very plentiful and also very tame. 
At the sound of carriages approaching along 
the driveway, they would line up against the | 
fence, and visitors usually came provided with I 
tit-bits to offer these gentle-eyed sentinels, ; 
ready to eat out of their hands with military 
precision. Poor dears! They were all killed i 
and eaten by the soldiers. ii 

NEW ORLEANS. ■ 

Here we are back again in the dear old I 
Crescent City. It takes all our courage and 
fortitude to face these new and strange condi- 
tions of life. The inevitable consequences of 
war are all about us, everyone is adrift, 
social and business conditions are disorgan- 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 133 

ized, the permanence of home seems a mock- 
ery. The one active trade that is noticeable 
is the constant barter and sale of jewels and 
silver plate to provide the family with its 
daily market money. In Louisiana our only 
home has been on the plantation. When in 
the city we have always visited my sister, who 
lived on Dauphine Street in the French 
Quarter of the town. This home, like many 
others, has now been completely broken up, 
so we must find another as an abiding-place 
for our old age. James makes to return to 
the plantation, but his health is failing 
rapidly and the doctors consider him quite 
unequal to the heavy task of reorganizing 
the work as it must be done under the new 
regime of the freed slaves. The plantation 
must, therefore, be put up for sale. What an 
irony of fate! For years he tried to make 
up his mind to do this very act, but like most 
planters he was under the strong fascination 
of sugar-making, which has all the elements 
of gambling. The likelihood of an early 
frost which blights the cane, of a late heat 



134 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

during the grinding process which ferments 
the juice, of uncertain climatic conditions at 
all times in Louisiana, make it impossible 
to calculate even approximately what the 
result of the sugar-cane crop may be. 

On the other hand, exactly favorable con- 
ditions may furnish an output that far ex- 
ceeds the most sanguine expectations. This 
was actually the case, after years of trials 
and disappointments, the first year of the 
War. 

The slaves have all returned to the plan- 
tation from Texas and are most eager in their 
inquiries " if ole Massa is coming back? " 
On hearing that we are to make our home in 
New Orleans, all the house-servants have de- 
scended upon us and are practically en- 
camped on the doorsteps, clamoring to be 
allowed to return to their work as usual. The 
question of their wages has never been raised, 
they have only made one stipulation, viz. : that 
when they die they are to have " a gran' 
funeral," with all their friends invited and 
lots of white cape jessamines to cover " de 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 135 

daid body." The funeral rites they lay great 
stress upon; of the marriage ones they are 
inclined to be somewhat negligent. 

The other day Black Betty, Clarice's maid, 
walked in upon us with her two children, 
born during slavery, and throwing her arms 
around the girl said, " Miss Clarice, I wish 
to goodness dat you'd tek me and de chillun! 
Leastways I mek you a present of de chillun. 
Dey tells me dat's we'se all free, but I can' 
mek out how I'm guine raise 'em if you don' 
help me! I reckon you ain' guine refuse me, 
is you? " 

NOVEMBER, 1866. 

For many months I have been unable to 
write at all, following injuries received in a 
severe fall which has caused me intense suf- 
fering, and deprived me of the use of my 
right hand. During my period of invalidism, 
our friends have been very kind in coming 
to see me, making my drawing-room quite a 
political salon, politics in these days being an 
absorbing topic in this sore and sorry period 



136 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

of reconstruction. There is endless discussion 
of the heart-breaking measures that are be- 
ing enforced as the means to restore condi- 
tions that can never be accepted by our peo- 
ple. While I am deeply interested in all 
questions that concern not only the welfare of 
my own community, but of the country at 
large, I prefer to avoid in my diary any 
personal bias in discussing the present fear- 
ful situation, the appalling complications and 
evil events that have resulted from this period 
of reconstruction. There is a difference of 
opinion even among our own people as to 
what methods should be pursued. Such men 
as Generals Hood, Wheeler, Longstreet, and 
Beaureguard cannot agree, some taking more 
advanced and conciliatory views than others. 
General Longstreet, for instance, seems far 
ahead of prevailing opinions, so much so that, 
if he presses the policy which he now advo- 
cates, he is bound to be looked upon askance 
by his former companions in arms. On the 
other hand, how can anyone doubt the sin- 
cerity of his loyalty to the cause for which he 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 137 

has so gallantly fought ? Only time can prove 
the wisdom or the fallacy of the cause for 
which he is now struggling with all his might. 

We have been terribly distressed at the 
tragic death of the wife and children of our 
old friend Dr. Richardson. 

There is no mode of travel more comfort- 
able or really luxurious than on one of our 
large river steamboats, but certainly there is 
none attended by more terrible accidents. 
With their high-pressure boilers and the 
temptation to constantly increase their rate 
of speed, the result is often a frightful ex- 
plosion, followed by fire, the passengers 
perishing in an agonized death before any 
means of rescue can be effected. 

Dr. Richardson's wife and children were to 
join him here, coming from Louisville on one 
of these floating palaces, when the not un- 
usual explosion occurred and all were lost. 
For many years of my life I have made this 
trip every spring and fall. We had usually 
a number of friends on board, there was 
dancing every night in the large saloon, we 



138 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

made a toilet for dinner, and looked upon 
the ten days or fortnight of our trip as a 
very pleasant period of social enjoyment. 
We always took a good supply of provisions, 
even to a cow, who became so accustomed 
to her semi-annual jaunt that she walked on 
and off the steamer with perfect complacency. 
For a whole year James has worked hard 
trying to raise money for the first payment 
on the house purchased since we arrived here. 
We have now been settled in it for three 
months. The house has a stable, but alas! 
no horses or carriages, so it is empty, but the 
negroes know that we have it, and lately 
whole families from the plantation have ar- 
rived to pay us prolonged visits, which are 
very trying, now that every extra mouth we 
feed involves an expense clearly beyond our 
means. When they want to shirk their work 
on the plantation, they are suddenly seized 
with a desire to visit " de fambly in de city. 
Sho' ole Massa and ole Missus will be glad 
to see us!" They are perfectly willing to 
work for us, but there is nothing to employ 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 139 

them in, and it requires very firm diplomacy 
to persuade them to return to the plantation. 

One family may be disposed of, but un- 
fortunately they go back and give such glow- 
ing accounts of their visit to us, that their 
departure is only too quickly followed by 
other arrivals. 

James has sold the plantation! The 
negroes, however, refuse to work unless some 
member of the family returns to manage 
them. The present owner has offered my 
son Louis a good salary if he will reorganize 
the work and manage the plantation, so he 
has accepted, but he writes that the task is 
not an easy one; that it is pathetic how the 
old slaves long to have us back, and most 
difficult to make them understand that they 
are free, and to grasp the fact that the 
family no longer owns the plantation. He 
urges me to come back and see if I can exert 
some influence or powers of persuasion that 
may help to reconcile these helpless creatures 
with their present lot, and enable them to ad- 
just themselves to the new order. This sud- 



140 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

den freedom, the manner in which it has come 
about, will, I fear, breed very serious trouble 
for our country in the near future. Of 
course the South will suffer most at the out- 
set, but the evil will eventually go much fur- 
ther and have very far-reaching results. 

If the negroes could only have been in 
some slight measure prepared, if we could 
have had a little more time in which to train 
them, this tremendous power that has so un- 
expectedly been placed in their hands might 
have been used to some good purpose. The 
freed slaves that show any ability to do for 
themselves are those who have been taught 
a trade during slavery, who are trained car- 
penters, blacksmiths, bricklayers, etc. 

A touching instance of the love and loyalty 
shown by these people for their former own- 
ers, is strikingly shown in the case of a negro 
who was sent abroad before the War by his 
mistress to be taught instrumental music, for 
which he showed very pronounced aptitude. 
He had a natural sense of rhythm that made 
his dance music a very valuable acquisition 




1^ ^ 



i; 



#ii 



THE CLARICE OF TO-DAY 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 141 

on the plantation, most Southerners being 
proverbially fond of dancing and much given 
to this form of amusement. From the time 
when he could crawl this boy would steal into 
his mistress' drawing-room and be found 
perched on the music stool and trying to play 
on her piano. On his return to New Orleans 
at the close of the War, he found his old mis- 
tress penniless, a widow, and alone in the 
world, as her two sons had been killed on the 
battlefield. He went manfully to work to 
support her, and has eventually been able to 
give her a home, but in order to do this he 
works all day in a music store, and plays at 
night for dancing parties. He is quite the 
most important feature of a successful ball, as 
it is not considered " chic " to have anyone 
else play. Apart from his delightful dance 
music, his intense enjoyment of the pleasure 
that he is giving shows in his face, which is 
like glistening ebony and radiant with a smile 
that stretches from ear to ear, and reveals a 
set of teeth the counterpart of the ivories from 
which his powerful hands produce a melody 



I 



142 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

and a measure that one cannot resist. He 
always requests that the piano shall be placed 
so that he can see the dancers, and for chil- 
dren's parties his big right foot is set forth 
to beat time, upon whose observance he 
strictly insists, though the little people adore 
him and call him, with all due respect, 
" Snowball." 

JANUARY, 1867. 

Christmas has come and gone! The hearts 
of the young are full of its joy, the hearts of 
the old are apt to be full of its sadness! Not 
so with me, however, for whom it becomes 
more and more, as I go on in life, the record 
day of all the year, measuring the happiness 
of my childhood, the hopes of my girlhood, 
and as each record becomes the concentrated 
essence of all previous records, in the delight 
and exquisite pleasure of my motherhood, I 
realize the past years of happiness in the hap- 
piness of my children. The years of my 
sorrow are forgotten on this day sacred to 
memory and to peace. 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 143 

CRESCENT PLANTATION. 

How strange it seems to return here again! 
Louis is overjoyed at having me with him, 
and I am glad that I came, in spite of the 
bitter struggle that it cost me to do so. We 
are living in a part of the old house that has 
been rebuilt for Louis. Perhaps it is as 
well that the rest has gone. Its presence 
would be too suggestive of sad memories. 
This morning after my arrival all their 
negroes hurried to greet me, and on the back 
porch are strewn the simple and varied offer- 
ings of love — ^half a dozen eggs, a chicken, 
some flowers or vegetables that have grown 
in their own small gardens. It is a curious 
but touching collection, and brings tears to 
my eyes. Some of the older mammies put 
their fat black arms around me and our tears 
mingled. While the maturer ones urge our 
return and would undoubtedly serve us with 
loyalty, the younger men and women are full 
of their freedom, and the famous promise of 
" a mule and an acre of ground " apiece, 
which they firmly credit, opens out to them a 



144 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

vista of wealth and ease, the equivalent to 
their simple minds of a Monte Cristo fortune. 
What I fear most for them is the likelihood 
in the near future of their having free access 
to liquor. The drinking curse is what we 
have always dreaded most in our African 
slaves. 

During the few days that I have spent 
here, I have fully realized how wise James 
was not to attempt, in his condition of health, 
a renewal of the old life under the new regime. 
Younger men than he must undertake the 
arduous task. Perhaps those who come from 
afar, without handicap of the older systems, 
may stand a better chance to revive sugar- 
making and work out new and fresh ideas 
along different lines. 

NEW ORLEANS. 

Since my return I have found myself in- 
volved in a work for a cause which appeals 
to me tremendously, and to undertake it gives 
me great comfort at the same time. I 
heartily wish that such heavy responsibilities 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 145 

had not fallen on my already much bowed 
shoulders. At the French Opera House 
where were gathered many prominent repre- 
sentatives of military-civil circles, a mass 
meeting was held for the purpose of electing 
a president of an association to raise money 
for the widows and disabled in the Con- 
federate ranks. Great was my consternation 
and surprise when my name was called out 
from the stage as the w^oman selected for this 
great honor. The announcement was quickly 
followed by the selection of a most able and 
distinguished committee of ladies to aid me: 
Mrs. Slanffer, Mrs. Slocomb, Mrs. H. Con- 
nor, Mrs. Nolitt, and many others who are 
younger and probably much more efficient 
than I am to organize and carry out this tre- 
mendous task. Of course I shall bring to it 
my best efforts and work in its behalf with 
all my heart and soul. 

A month later. 
My days being all too short for the work in 
hand, I have had no time to record its prog- 



146 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

ress here. We have decided, after much dis- 
cussion as to the wisest means of raising 
money among those who have so very Httle 
left to give, upon a general bazaar and lot- 
tery, combined with evening entertainments 
of varied character, for which the price of 
admission will be very moderate, as all actors 
and singers have volunteered to give their 
services free. There is not a store in New 
Orleans from the largest dry goods and 
jewelry establishments to the smallest Italian 
fruit stand that has not made some generous 
contribution, including precious stones, silver- 
ware, clothing, and household articles of every 
description to be offered for raffle or sale. 
We have the Mauresiue Building, which is 
very large and lends itself easily to decora- 
tion, giving us all the space we require. I 
go every day with one of the committee to 
ask for donations, very seldom for money, but 
any article is of value, small or large, either 
for sale or lottery, and it is most gratifying 
that not once in any quarter has our request 
for a donation been refused. 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 14^7 

This is the fourth day of the bazaar and 
we have every reason to hope for great re- 
sults. Last night the great Ristori offered 
to give us recitations from several of her 
plays. This crowded the house to its utmost 
capacity, and all who came were well re- 
paid, for it was a wonderful, never-to-be- 
forgotten evening. The great artiste was at 
her best, and won us all with the charm of her 
rare and fascinating personality. Walter 
Fane was appointed on the committee that 
received her, and being a fluent Italian 
scholar was spokesman for the others. Ris- 
tori was enchanted at his greeting her in her 
own tongue and still more delighted over his 
knowledge of, and love for, her country. 
She has been most sympathetic and generous 
in her desire to help our cause. I felt proud, 
too, that I could present to her so many 
charming and distinguished women, to say 
nothing of the men whose gallantry and 
courteous bearing greatly pleased her, re- 
minding her of the best Latin traditions in 
the Old World from which she comes. 



148 DIARY OF A REFUGEE 

The most attractive feature of the bazaar 
is the flower and fruit stand. The girls in 
their bower of roses are " queen roses " them- 
selves, and their fresh young faces are a 
great magnet to the crowd, so that a lively 
trade goes on daily, and their contributions 
to the fund is an ever-increasing one. In the 
group are the two famous beauties, Anna 
and Lydia Henning, and so many are the 
disputes as to their respective charms, that 
my cousin Billy Walker swears he will risk 
bigamy and marry both, Anna, who is very 
intellectual, to be his fireside companion, and 
Lydia to preside and adorn the head of his 
table. Clara and Minnie Morton, who have 
just returned from Europe, are full of dash 
and " chic," and they, too, having a large 
circle of beaux and swains following in their 
wake, add a merry note of wit and repartee 
to the popularity of their stronghold. 

Nature's nobleman, a true Christian and a 
faithful friend, untiring in his efforts to as- 
sist and uplift the good of the community in 
which he lives. As a citizen he was fully ap- 



DIARY OF A REFUGEE 149 

preciated and admired, and the Chamber of 
Commerce has just passed and sent me reso- 
lutions that are a full and touching tribute to 
his memory. His greatest hobby was in edu- 
cating and giving young men a start in life, 
and many a successful one owes his good 
fortune to James' timely aid. 

[Note hy Editor,— The writer of the Diary 
saw her prayer fulfilled and did not long 
survive her husband. Although a great in- 
valid she spent her remaining years in good 
work, but her compensating joy and comfort 
in her declining years was the marriage of 
her daughter with Walter Fane.] 



3l|.77-l 



